Long Time No Bees

Hi guys!

Wow I've missed so much bee action! You have been buzzing like crazy here. I couldn't even check Bees while I was away cos I was using PVC's laptop and didn't want to leave anything incriminating in the internet history.

Agent Y: Very sorry to hear about the cockhead. And also sorry to hear about the freaky coincidence with sushi sister of China Bee. Freaky! Thought I was the only one who had unbearably awkward coincidental experiences!

Agent X: Speaking of coincidences - OMG! Bungalo 8 Bee!!! Wow, how bizarre! And I love the line about standing in the corner but looking hot. Go you lol.

Agent V: Ahahaha crack wax. Awesome. I've never been brave enought to get my vagina (lol) professionally waxed. I mean, I have a genital piercing, but even that was easier than getting it all off for a waxer. Not sure why, but that terrifies me. I just shave it. Piece of trivia: PVC shaves himself too. I watched him do it the other day - fascinating! He has to stretch his bits out to access it properly. Kind of hilarious.

As you know, I've been living it up in NYC, and I've had a blast. Lots of sexy sex, omg so much. One day we had sex in the morning, and then when we got back we had sex three more times.

Also had awesome adventures in all the sex shops over there. PVC and I bought matching rubber underpants, so we can be stylish next time we take our clothes off at a fetish event. And I got a new (purple) corset, for the bargain price of US $50!! PVC took some lovely photos of me in it (and the underpants)... it even gives me cleavage! Cleavage, people!!

Also, I think I might be working at the sex shop in Newtown after all. They ditched me initially because they hired someone who could start sooner, but that girl is now talking about moving to Byron Bay. So I start in January! Yaaay!!!

See you all soon, except Agent V - bummer we didn't quite make it with the meet up! But hopefully see you again not too distant future.

Bees out.

Crack Wax

Hi all,

Has anyone had a brazilian? I have not, but I feel a little like I may as well have. Really, all I am short of one is a couple of labia and a teepee at the top.

Just had a 'bikini' wax from an no-nonsense big momma named Keisha. (Lovely, but also a bit scary)

She was almost shocked when I was slightly confused - "What, remove my undies too? Everything? I..I just want the bikini..." then she just went with the 'mnnmm-hmmm' approach and off they went.

Legs went flying, initially I was going for a timid trim, apparently this isn't the go. Typically, it would be 'hold your leg there'...'no, there' (I put leg up off to my right a bit, and up a bit, she re-positions so my leg is up near my shoulder somewhere, somewhere at the extreme of my flexibility) Repeat.

As I was there in the chair with my both ankles held above my head and stretching my tummy up for all I was worth, I couldn't help but feel the situation was a little weird, but I didn't wail when next she put hot wax on my intimates and then ripped the hair out, either. Go me! At least she was nice and quick about it.
As I was give leave to get dressed again she patted me on tha arm and said that it's the best way, only doing the outlines leaves 'all that' down there and that's just not nice. he he. I kind of agree with, but still. Aii!

I think the exposure factor here was actually worse than having your vagina examined for whatever reason - last sexual health clinic I went to they were like 'oh, this guys new, do you mind if he does your tests and I supervise' so there's 3 people peering up your clacker. At least they give you a piece of paper towel to put down when they wander off so you can pretend you've got a skirt on or something. Here I was nude from the waist with legs akimbo and NAKED VAGINA pointed at the door.(closed) {OK, probable excessive use of word vagina there, but it gets addictive.}

Ah the indignity of it all! Beats trying to wax yourself though. (Highly unrecommended)

PS. ...Vagina

*GRUFF*

** WARNING! MAJOR RANT, ADULT THEMES AND OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE AHEAD**

It's times like this you need minties, or perspective or some shit... please send all minties c/o IATEYOURBEES.

Prologue;
Apprently I've missed informing you of a new Bee in the picture, it didn't really warrant earlier mentioning but had a brief conversation with Canadian Bee-eater and we decided that during singledom one takes the oppertunity.

Chapter one; The Party
A few weeks before I went off to Melbourne I went up the Central Coast for my friends partners 30th. During which time I met Brother In Law Bee. Brother in Law Bee is brother to my mates partner. Right got it.
He was alright looking... good arms... good smell. Someone at the party got wind I fancied him and then we were prompted into a walk and conversation, during which time myself (who was TOTALLY SQUIFFY) and Brother in Law Bee pashed, had a grope and went back home, drank more with the boys - INSERT ME BEING CAN ON GIRL - and then passed out.
The following day involved very little, except sleeping and cuddling on bed.

Chapter two; The follow up
We didn't exchange numbers after the party, I knew he lived in the central coast - remember we've been here before? - so it was all a bit silly, but nice to giggle with my girlfriend about being sister in laws *chuckle*
So BILB (haha BILB is good) askes my mate for my number, and a swarth of text messages and phone calls which Telstra obviously by now recognises as me having a bit of crumpet again.
So pre Melbourne I trek up early to Central Coast to loaf about up there, see BILB and start holiday wind down.
My temporary tag of BLIBS MRS (haha morons) I got an invite to a house warming party after which I told BILB we couldn't ever have anything that friendly cuddles because I did not want things to be weird when I visited incase something went weird... sure I understand is the reply.

Chapter Three; the fuck up.
Mate rings me and askes, 'Did you sleep with BILB?' -- NO I did not, well apprently BILB has told some thing named Ryan we had.
Its now times like there where I start batting for the all men are lying bastards, it's encoded in the Y strain of DNA and they should be jettisoned into space.
Just after I've been so good and optimistic!

THIS REALLY PISSES ME OFF! Because I don't want to get all whingy to my friend because this is what I wanted to avoid in the fucking first place!
And I can't give him attitude like I want to because I want to seem all better than him and not petty but I want to suffocate him truth be told!
So now if I see him Im going to take the disappointed and wronged woman act, tell anyone who asks if we slept together to fuck off and mind thier own businss and remember not to shit where you go for long weekends either.

What are the f**in chances......pretty bloody good actually

Let's take a journey together, you and I.

A little over three years ago, I met my Hub-bee at a wedding. We hit it off, but he was keen not to commit as he was going around Australia for six weeks. I wasn't neccessarily all that keen to commit either, I was "having a blast" as it were.
So we kicked around together for four weeks or so, he took me all sorts of places out with his friends and such like. We went to Manly, we went to house parties, and we went to Randwick for Melbourne Cup day.

We had a great day mostly, I'd never been to the races before, and what better way to be introduced than Melbourne Cup!
As you do, we got wasted, or fairly drunk I should say, and kicked on afterward in the city. One of the guys Hub-bee works with was with us (it was mostly his Uni friends in the group) and he said he knew someone at Bungalow 8 that could get us in and possibly even had a corporate card for drinks!!
So we head over there, it was maybe 8pm and I was a *leetle* drunk. Hehehe
So there was quite a large group of them, and we got introduced around, as you do. I did some dancing, and met some people. When it came time to leave, I'd actually had such a good time, I had given my number to two guys, being the little hussy I was at the time, including one of which who worked with one of our group.

So Hub-bee goes away, and I go to visit Agent billylou when she was still working in Parramatta. I was feeling a little amorous shall we say, and when one of the aforementioned gents calls me, and offers to come all the way to Parramatta I took him up on the offer. Needless to say, there was some action, and I will point out THAT IT WAS PATHETIC, and a waste of my time.

So after this incident, I vowed to not bother with him again and started ignoring his calls and his texts.
Hub-bee came back from his trip, and the very night he came home we agreed to be exclusive and as they say, the rest is history.

Almost.

So this random (annoyingly with the same first name as Hub-bee) he started booty calling me at like 2am in the morning when he was out. I would wake up and throw the phone across the room. Or I would wake in the morning and there would be numerous missed calls.

After months of ignoring him, at this stage Hub-bee knew about it, (I'd come clean about the whole incident) and we were together one night and he called, waking the two of us. We turned my phone off, but Hub-bee was so annoyed it had gotten to this ridiculous stage, that he rang the number back {you know how you keep the Contact in your phone so you don't get caught out by not ignoring the call?} and without saying who he was, told the guy not to bother ringing the number anymore {of course he denied the whole thing, pretending he'd never called at 2am}.
We never heard from again.

FAST FORWARD

l
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Hub-bee's Christmas party this weekend just passed.
THERE IS THE GUY in the pub at the pre-drinks. Co-incidentally, the same pub as 3 years ago.

Turns out, he works for the same company as Hub-bee! Always did. Not just an acquaintance of Hub-bee's friend, but works for the same company. We spent all night seeing him in the party, and I'm almost certain he must have known who we were.
SO AWKWARD! Hub-bee had to chat to him! I was dying of shame in the corner (looking hot).

Tell me, bad or what!

Social Spying Utlity

Usually I'd try to get all introspective on this... but I can't really be arsed at the moment.

I love Facebook, it's interesting to find out that you know someone that someone else knows too.
China Bee AKA Good Kisser Bee is Facebook friends with a girl I went to high school with who was now in Ireland.
Naturally I enquired with China Bee how he knew her, and he said they'd met when he was working at Wenty Leagues.
This satisfied my interests, she was a nice enough girl, a little weird and defiantly not in the cool group at school but that was all I needed to know.
As if by some sort of out of worldly coincidence I run into Irish Girl at Valleygirl. Of course the first thing that wants to escape my lips is to ask how she knows China Bee but I fight the good fight and persist with the meaningless small talk for a good four minuets before attacking. Turns out she and China Bee 'hooked up' last year.
NOW THE ONLY IMAGE I HAVE IN MY HEAD IS OF THEM SHAGGING WHILE WERE MAKING CHIT CHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO'VE GOTTEN KNOCKED UP SINCE SCHOOL!
At first the image was sort of her head on my body, non imaginative sort of way and then all of a sudden I have to look away from her as she speaks because its like ammunition for the porno which is rendering itself in my brain! ARGH
They say when you sleep with someone you have sex with everyone they have had sex with... well I wasn't prepared for one of them to have been someone I wasn't particularly fussed with six years ago.
And now I still have the image in my head.
Geez.

Hear hear with the sleepiness! I have been guilty of this on more occasions than I care to own up to. It also reminded me of a topic I need some advice on! That is, how to recover when you go out on a sexy-limb and embarrass yourself...

Scenario, away on lurvly although freezing weekend away, but guilty of the tourist trap of running about all day trying to squeeze in as many attractions and museums as possible, and of course experience all the attendant fun. We return back to our hotel pad, with our awesomely comfy and large bed, and even a strategically placed large mirror at the foot of the bed. Tired after the long day, I decide that nonetheless, its a holiday dammit and that calls for some hot holiday sex. I sneak off to outfit myself in lacy red with suspenders and stockings and head out of the bathroom feeling damn sexy, and consequently pretty horny too. After a bit of a ta-da! I'm sexy now! entrance, I climb atop the bed only to be greeted by a Half Asleep-Bee and very tired set of eyes looking well, scared to death. I attempt a little playful encouragement only to be met by an apology about being too tired etc etc and much embarrassment for all. I of course run away back to change out of my outfit thoroughly disappointed and throw some PJs on and sneak back to bed for some ..ugghhh...sleep.

This was a little while ago so I can't remember much after that except the rest of the weekend away was a success and much fun was had. The problem now is that I'm a bit too freaked out to go there again and looking at my sexy undies now makes me remember the time and I'm not really up for even making the first move anymore:( So no adventure for me! We've done the sexy undies thing since then, which I am still a big fan of, I just don't trust my judgement unless its REALLY obvious now.....thoughts?

Anniversary lovin

So had very romantic anniversary weekend away. We went to the Hunter Valley and HubBee had organised champagne in the room when we arrived, it looked gorgeous!
So we proceeded to open the champagne, get tipsy and have fun drunken hotel room shag.

Saturday shamefully I got too pissed for bedroom action which was a decided shame as I'd bought new set of sexy knickers in a pinky-red fishnet style and was organised to slip into said knickers when we got back from dinner.

As we were in the Hunter, we spent all day tasting, and then when we finished with that we had a quick dip in the pool and spa (spa was disgusting and I can imagine if we'd tried to have spa-action I would have contracted all manner of disgustingness)
Then we went to the hotel bar for a pre-dinner cocktail and play a little pool, and I ordered a huge pink extremely toxic cocktail, with something like 5 shots in it (not realising of course, I thought it would be normal sized).

We played pool, went out to dinner and proceeded to drink another few glasses of wine, so much so that I almost fell asleep half way through the main course.
Needless to say I was beyond drowsy when we got back, and said knickers went back into the bag, I am determined to wear them again and surprise him though. Hopefully this week.

So Sunday morning (actual anniversary) couldn't go past the morning sexy-sex, which was great, and we discovered why the bed was so high off the floor (it really was crazy-high). hehehe.
Good weekend, grotesque happiness at love of HubBee, a year on.
:)

RUDE!!!!

And yet strangely arousing. I'm sure it's wrong to be aroused by Shrek...

Hypnosis

This is going to sound a little weird. But, ok.

You see, PVC has been learning how to hypnotise people. He's been downloading pirated hypnosis lessons and learning - it has been an interest of his for a while. At first I was pretty skeptical (particularly of anything ripped off the internet) but the first time he tried it on me it actually worked. It's like being extraordinarily relaxed, like just before you go to sleep. The theory is that the person hypnotising you can speak directly to your subconscious without your consciousness getting in the way. (He also has a kick arse massage chair, which helps. The technique he's using to hypnotise me is just speech - using words to relax you and lull you into a sort of trance. Amazing how simple it is... truly weird).

So. We'd done a couple of sessions, one of which focused on building my confidence, which I reckon actually worked. Like, visualisation type stuff - 'visualise your confidence as a colour blah blah'. And it leaves you feeling really relaxed with a clear head afterwards, which is also really good when you're stuck in Crazy Thesis World.

The third time he hypnotised me, he didn't tell me what we were doing, but he said I was going to like it.

He did the basic thing, and I got trancy and relaxed, like normal. Then, he did a similar sort of visualisation exercise as 'confidence', but, er, 'sexual energy'. It's a bit hard to describe, and particularly hard because I was the one being hypnotised, but it was like this buzzing feeling, like my skin was tingling all over. So as he kept talking (pretty simple and not particularly sexual words) this feeling just got stronger, like turning the dial from sensual to sexual, really intense. It was crazy, and I knew it was crazy, but it felt amazing! It got to the point where I felt like I was going to come (and I was still sitting relatively still in the chair, he wasn't touching me or anything), until, oh my god, I did come. Like, whole body orgasm. And that wasn't it! Then he just kept talking, and telling me that I was going to come on his command, and I freaking did. Like, he would tell me, and there was nothing I could do but obey. At least five times.

It was just this beautiful pure feeling, like sexuality undiluted by problems like body anxiety or feeling silly or worrying about the other person. Just total bliss. Absolutely incredible.

And the best thing was that when he brought me back I was unbelievably turned on. Like every single part of my skin was a sexual receptor. So we had sex in the massage chair, and again in his bed - and the physical intensity coupled with the fact that I'm off-my-face in love with this person, well it pretty much blew my mind. One of those 'I could die right now and I'd be ok with that' sort of nights.

I think I should marry this person.

Also, I might be going to New York with him for a week in December. His work is sending him and he asked if I wanted to come along. And I think, since I have nothing better to do, that I just might take him up on the offer.

...wait a second. I AM dead, aren't I? My head exploded sometime last week from over-exertion from Thesis Hell, right? You guys are just too polite to break it to me! But, if hell is this good, well I'm not complaining.

Me and PVC

Oh, guys.

Went over to see PVC last night. Met up with him at a party with some of his old work friends, and ended up just talking to him while everyone else watched the rugby. Without it being some big serious conversation I mentioned to him how confused I was feeling about my life. We decided to talk about it back at his place (after racing each other back to Stanmore... he won).

When I got there PVC had decided to start chiseling the mouldy paint off the wall in the bathroom. (I have complained about the bathroom so many times that he cleaned the floor with disinfectant and now he's de-mouldifying the wall. I'm so touched!). Anyway I watched him scrape the wall for a really long time and then we had a shower and went to bed. We had sex, it was nice, (no orgasms on my part but I was pretty much too tired to care), and we started to go to sleep.

Then, halfway between sleep, somehow we started fucking again. It was this surreal, beautiful, incredible thing, you know sex that just happens, that you don't have to think about, and there was colour and warmth and it was like the walls were melting and there was nothing between us and the sky.

(I'm claiming my right to artistic licence here, ok?)

So I came about a million times and then when I was done I went down and blew him until he came for the 2nd time that night.

Then we were just lying there, off our faces with endorphins. We turned our faces to look at each other and he said "I love you." I said "I love you, too."

We talked until the sun came up, and finally got about 2 hours sleep in the morning.

When we woke up we just looked at each other and knew that everything was different. In a good way. He said "I had the best dream!"

Then we went to Ikea so he could buy things to make his house less like a hovel.

I feels, in this stupid cliched way, like my life is just starting.

Ahh!

Also, happy birthday Agent X! Woot!

Marry me

for better > for worse
for richer > for poorer
in sickness > and in health.

The part about the sickness however sort of hinders the sexy sex.
As you all know, I have been horribly coughing for the last three weeks, which severly restricted bedtime action. We did it early on (in the lurge), and while it was good, I hacked all the way through it, then I got sicker and sicker and it just wasn't happening.

This week I've pretty much gotten over it all (yay!) and its been a small sex fest. Sex fest; for us, small; because its only a few times. LOL.
We had a great session Wednesday afternoon, Hub-bee walked in from work and it was ON. Hot. Hehehe.
Then again this morning, which was great, half awake action I reckon is fantastic. Hub-bee is going to Christian Music Festival (yes I know, Ew) all Long Weekend, which is when we usually have lots of action. We're such classic living-together couple. Too tired mostly, but on Long Weekends we'll frequently do it everyday, if not twice a day! So this morning was mostly to make up for the lack of weekend-time together, we had snuggles and sex, all in twenty-five minutes.

So, Fear not ladies!!! Yes the married crone is still getting action. There was just a small detour into- Infection-ville which prevented the Pork Sausage Picnic.

*sings* Blind date, ma-ma-mah Blind date!

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

These people who decide to 'introduce' (read 'set up') you to thier brother/cousin/ex boyfriends friends half brother, whatever.

Sitting at work today, when I get 'click'... look up looking bewildered etc, and one of the reps says 'I need a photo of you, for my brother. I've told him about you, and he wants a picture!'
To which I reply, in an oh-so-intelligent manner 'Ahhh'
'He's 26, tall, good looking, plays, rugby, owns his own house...' all this crap is sounding really appealing until then it dawns on me, and is also related to a loud mouthed woman who sets people up with thier brothers etc - BAD!

But as Sister Bee of Agent X, he might be a good lay? Huh well I suppose but that's boardering on shitting where one eats I think, and if nothing else this little blog excerise has taught us that is to be avoided at all costs (refer fat IT bee.)

Speaking of beebloggers, Agent X where are you? We know that my shag has just boarded a slow boat to bloody China, and Agent Billy is as last post suggests is having more sex and orgasms than one can poke a stick at.
Surely you are having hot martial sex on patio, stairwell or similar?

He's leaving on a jet plane, and I packed his bags

In the name of convincing myself I am a cool and understanding top-shelf kind of chick, on friday I helped facilitate my Non-Boyfriend Boyfriend GK Bee contact the school in China he is leaving to work for.
This is tantamount to packing his bags and saying "Goodbye nice guy I like, see you in one year (by which time I probably wont have met anyone anyway!)"
He's set to be gone by next week. NEXT WEEK!! Which leaves me totally emotionally unequipped for his leaving - of course execpt for the tiny fact I knew he was going in the first place.
So where does this all leave me? Well aside from sad because he's gone, angry at myself because I knew he was going - I guess ALSO SINGLE?

GAHHHH

More sex than you can poke a pointed stick at.

One weekend. Five orgasms.

I am in a mood to inflict gory details. (Now that we have a shiny new disclaimer, I'm going to personally ensure we get the most value out of it.)

#1. Tied to ceiling of PVC's balcony. (Hands cuffed together, rope wrapped around cuffs and attached to ceiling).

#2. In bed with PVC, after rope/balcony. I came purely from him touching my nipple. He has instituted awesome system whereby he tells me to cum... and it works. For real. Omg.

#3. Later in evening, after rousing walk around streets of Newtown for goth festival in full goth get up. (PVC dressed in his namesake, let me put makeup on him. Mascara, lipstick, the works. Men in vinyl and makeup... oh, man.) So anyway sex took place fully clothed, me in corset, him on top, and, miraculously, we came AT THE SAME TIME. This... is unheard of. For whom does this ever actually happen??? I nearly died both from sensory overload and disbelief.

#4. Next day. Watching fetish porn in bed on projector. (Yes, porn on a projector, it doesn't get much more OTT. Nerds - they are so great. Perverted and have an ability to install things correctly.) PVC gets himself off while fingering me. Added points for amazing multi-tasking skills on his part.

#5. Still in bed, about 20 minutes later. Decide one orgasm just wasn't enough. Ended up gyrating against PVC until I have, and I am not exaggerating, a screaming orgasm. I literally screamed. It was so intense that later in the day I was HOARSE. Slight pang of guilt re: PVC's sex deprived housemates. They always look so haggard when they see me around the house.

So, there you have it. I'm beside myself I'm so happy. Still plan to move away in November, but will deal with when come to I suppose.

template

I hope the text colour is acceptable I'm sorry but I couldn't read the last colour. I love the pic actually, the theme is quite opulent now..... LOL

Poll Results and New Layout

Poll results in people!!
Apprently 5 of us have an opinion on the best O position... I didn't even know there was five of us. Curious.

Also... I know I just updated the template but I just found this pic and went from there... let me know what you think, we can fiddle with the side bar colours etc. It's Dita Von Teese (bitch) FYI minus the naughty bits since I figured blogger would object.

There is a good reason sprain rhymes with pain

Obviously there is (as there should be) a difference between pain gained by using those muscules which in Singledom have long remained doment, and pain gained by an actual sex sprain.
Hobbling around the office has generated some interest today with reaching for items become a bit of an exploration in pain , 'what have you been doing?' seems to be the red hot question, what can reply be issued without rousing suspision? 'I played a massive round of golf and perfected my backswing.'
Of course, that is ridiculous and would only work if I knew what that actually meant. The truth of the matter is, I have a sexy sex sprain.
Saturday night after being out on the town with GKBee we came home pissed and had a great sex session, during he flipped me over, and pinned my hands behind my back and did a bit of hair pulling.
HOTT HOTT at the time, but apprently not a position ones arm are conditioned to be in with another perons weight on top.

Damn

Well, I had the conversation I'd been avoiding with PVC.

Told him I had been planning to move to Melbourne, but would stay if he wanted me to stay. (Implication: he would quantify what we have as a relationship and things would become more serious - as much as I hate those words).

He said what I'd been dreading he'd say - that things would continue the same way if I chose to stay in Sydney. Which are not bad - but certainly not enough to relocate my 'dreams' for.

I realised later that I chose a bad time to bring this up as I was suffering PMT at the time. I started crying, arggghhhh, I couldn't believe how much of a girl I was being. (You won't commit to me?? Wahahahaha!!!!) He was nice to me, but god it was embarrassing.

Then there was awkwardness - should we keep seeing each other even though I'll be moving away in three months? We didn't really address this so much as have sex. Which was amazing. And yes I know that's really dysfunctional, but I'm comfortable with that.

At the end of it the consensus was yes, we should keep seeing each other, but now I don't know if I can do it.

But the sex...!

Aw, fuck.

Also I know my username has changed - I'm in the process of fiddling with my accounts.

LMAO- when's she's *just not that into you*

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Woooo

I like it :)

My non boyfriend broke up with me

Well, after having a discussion with a friend on a Saturday's retail therapy trip I came home to a phone call the Central Coast Bee didn't think it was working.

Basically it all seems to have gone pear shaped somewhere in between Sunday to Saturday, when he's decided he didn't want to be an arsehole but its too hard (with him living in the Central Coast, maybe fair enough) and he's been single too long (whatever the fuck that means.)

So I called Agent Z, who was insufferably bubbly due to a short interlude with her favourite homosexual.
'Dating Sucks' we decided, and that after decades of dating people still hadn't managed to come up with anything actually comforting or constructive to say on the point of being dumped (thanks to my mate Jac for that one, geeez!)
Well now I have no date for this wretched wedding, great one of my friends someone to spend thier whole lives with and I can't get past a wedding. DRAT.

I am choosing to be positive, taking comfort in the fact that although he dumped me he wasn't that great a kisser anyway, and that even though he's leaving in a month I'm still dating a bee who shall hense forth be called Great Kisser Bee, haha nuff said.

Bees out

** UPDATE **

Have made up for dumping by going out and having FANTASTIC date & shag with Great Kisser Bee.
Went to lovely Manly for lunch, had a lovely grilled barramundi, chips and salad (salad totally ruined by apperance of bug lodged in salad dressing dispenser, ew) followed by yummy Copenhagen Tropical Passionfruit icecream, wandered along the beach then home for 3 O's.
Ahh I love sundays.

Weird Relationship Limbo

(cat girl)


I think the title says it all. What do you do when for all intents and purposes you are in a relationship... but at the same time you have no idea where you stand with that person, where it's going, what sort of boundaries there are... I mean the reason I've let all this go for so long is because I don't exactly approve of over-labelling everything, but there does come a point where you just want to know if someone is your goddamn boyfriend or not!!

I brought up the concept of me moving to Melbourne with PVC Bee. It went something like:

Me: "Don't suppose you want to move to Melbourne with me?"
Him: "Um... probably not."
Me: "Oh, ok."

Yeah, great discussion. Really constructive and helpful. Pfft.

Not to sound like a whingey pants, cos I do so enjoy the time I spend with PVC, and the sex just gets better... but still I feel that nothing about it is certain, and I'm just so tired of feeling like there's no point in getting close to someone because everything inevitably ends.

I mean, the last time I saw him, he was recovering from the flu. So I made dinner and brought it round and then had to spoon feed him (he wasn't really that sick, just enjoying the attention) and then I stayed the night where we held hands in our sleep... was really beautiful... and then in the morning it's all "see ya".

I'm confused :(

More Family guy Sex

Spanking

100th Post!!

We made it girls!! We may be sporadic, but we got there in the end!!!

Typical Musings

>':'< (meow)

So I was having a phone conversation with an ex of mine who currently lives in Melbourne. (It was late... why do they always contact me when it's very late on a Friday night and I'm somewhat out of it?) and we're chatting away, and somehow the conversation gets onto sex. Not that I ever want to shag this ex of mine ever again (I'm not just saying that, I really, really, don't) but hey a bit of harmless flirtation never hurt anyone. And I don't know how this came up but at some point in the conversation he revealed that I was the last person he slept with.

...say WHAT???

I was really quite shocked. That means the last time he had sex was well over a year ago, and it was utter crap. (I have immortalised this experience in a short story I wrote - possibly one of the most dismal sexual experiences of my life).

Which got me to thinking... how many people running around out there would list me as the last person they slept with? I know two are certain (one due to a religious transformation that happened shortly after our final round of ex sex... I like to think these things are unrelated) and now Melbourne bee. That leaves two more people I can't say for sure but would be willing to put money on... (one is female and one is that dude from last year with the incurable illness and such).

And then there's the person I'm currently shagging... I'm assuming I'm the last person he shagged... unless he's had a very busy 24 hours.

So what is that, five people??

Yikes.

In other news, the shagging of the current partner is going exceedingly well. I still don't know where I stand with him on an emotional level, which is concerning, but with sex this good who gives a damn.

The drought is over... Hallelujah Amen.

Rules eh?

I'm afraid I've missed a reference somewhere? I thought 'The Rules' was a book written by manipulative women on how to score a husband 1950's style?

All of that aside, this boy is sounding very charming indeed. In the debaucherous world in which we live it is nice to know there are some gentlemen out there with restraint and respect yet. (I mean that without irony btw!)

I was just in the mood for a random musing so here I am. As Agent X knows I went to Hellfire last night and ran into a person we both went to school with a very long time ago... bit hard to name names in this context but hmm it was weird. I wore my rubber for the first time! It was so wonderful. I was worried I would have a blow-out on the dancefloor or somesuch but the good people at Reactor make a quality product. Someone took a photo of me and boyfriend bee (more on this upgraded title later) in his pvc Hellraiser coat, *drool*, the only problem being we couldn't exactly rub against one another cos we got stuck. But there are worse people to get stuck to ;)

Oh, as soon as I have the photo I'll email it.

So, I think I'm 'having a relationship' with someone. It's been so long that I'm not sure how this whole thing works anymore. But, I think we've crossed a line whereby things have become a little more 'serious' than they maybe were in the beginning. Behold, my evidence:

* I told him I was not interested in having sex with anyone other than him (stemmed from a conversation regarding safe sex... as we are trying to be responsible adults woo)

* We went to Woolworths together and did the "repulsively happy couple being childish together in a supermarket" thing (a true mark of a serious adult relationship if you ask me)

* We went home from Hellfire early as he is more interested in having sex with me than whipping other random chicks

* I slept over at his house two nights in a row... and actually slept. (I find it really hard to share a bed, but he is so slight and quiet and not too hot that we even cuddle in bed. Oh my god.)

* Ummm, just then he called me, saying someone had been banging on his front door and he was ringing "the few people closest to me" to see if they had been trying to get in. For someone who doesn't say anything sentimental it was fairly touching to be included in that category.

Anyway I'll stop boring you all with this rubbish.

Except! 'Boyfriend bee' is both ambiguous and lame. Therefore he will from now on be known as PVC Bee.

Also, I might have fucked him with a strap on glass dildo this morning.

Good times.

I am dating a rules boy

Dear Central Coast Bee,

You are cute, and tall and smell nice. You
pay for things, and call me and appear to listen when I speak.
I am interested.

Perhaps it's because his parents and grandparents raised him to be gentlemanly with good netherlander values, or perhaps it's because I am a hornbag but I enquired with Central Coast Bee if he was going for a 'proper kiss' when he dropped me off from our second date (when we kissed on the cheek).
'A proper kiss, on the second date!?' he repeated incredulously! 'Don't you know the rules of courting?' Oh my god, has anyone seen seven brides for seven brothers??? HAHA you'd have to have seen it to know my joke!
I'm not going to obsess about this because it will drive me nuts!!

They really ARE hot pants!!!

These pants are awesome. I am the proud owner of a pair!
A bit sticky on the dancefloor but what the hell. I am always sticky on the dancefloor anyhow.

Dreambee freaked out on the phone when I told him of my purchase, though more when I told him of my intentions to wear them out in public..... woooo!
Digest of antics coming soon :o)

Thailand Loving

Now firstly let me preface this with the disclaimer, I didn't actually fuck anyone o/s. But fear not, I got some action anyway !

First notable meeting was on our first night out at one of our fave Thai bars, the 5!5 bar, Queensland Bee was quite gentlemanly, we spent all night talking, turned out he was in the same hotel, and when one my travel mates picked up a Thai guy we went round to his bar in Bangla Rd - (now this is about as dodgy as being a pimp in the Cross) we went for a walk, made out on the beautiful beach and came back to the bar to find them absent.
I then freaked out, thinking she was being sold into white slavery and he waited around with me for a while until I got jack of it and went back to the hotel. We said goodnight, he was flying to KL the next day, he took my number and I went back to my room. But my roomie was asleep, ah sweet fate. So I went to his room and knocked, and it was actually a relief because all we did was sleep. He took my number so well see if he calls I guess.

One of the girls down the corridor from us was celebrating her last night, was going to be a quite evening on Bangla rd... then we did JagerBombs (shudder)and we picked up two British boys from Nottingham (I swear most English guys ever lol) and did ALOT of making out at the bar, all very trashy, our travel buddies had said goodnight ages ago and we were both a bit squiffy. I'd said goodnight to Nottingham Bee and he'd given me his email address on a scrap of paper bag. And then we left with the boys, I was a bit confused, we'd said goodnight but then we ended up back in their hotel - in a room they shared... After the hotel staff had rang them three times, then cut their power, then SEARCHED THEIR ROOMS whilst we hid in the shower, we started to making out, he was a fucking great kisser, he went down on me and me on him, he came - but apparently 'brits don't wear johnnys' meaning they didn't have any condoms combined with the notion that a couple were going at it in a bed I could reach out and touch got to be all too much, so she and I left a bit annoyed... but hey I got his email address so I can try again?

We were all so majorly hung over that we did nothing all the next day.
Last but not least was Police Bee... HAHAHA, yes this means he's a police officer, who get this offered to bring his hand cuffs home 'if I wanted' haha yeah hell yeah!! - I don't care if it was an empty promise but REAL police cuffs is hot.We met up with one of my travel buddies mutual acquaintances, all police officers, I was wearing a low cut dress (is there any other kind?) and he was looking at my cleavage all night.
We all ate dinner, went to a GoGo show (think ping pongs and like) and got a little trashed at a bar, then two of us paired up and walked the one with the boyfriend home and went skinny dipping. They had an amazing hotel pool, unfortunately surrounded by rooms but I don't think anyone was watching at three in the morning. I had my period by this time, so refused anything happening but I got him off, he came in my mouth which I surreptitiously spat out in the pool and then we repeated this format mostly the following evening.He seemed nice enough, so I dropped the hint to my mate I'd like to get his number so well see how we go...
You know come to think of it, each time I met a guy I did anything decent with I was wearing that dress. HMM, I might be onto something here. Plus before I went away, at my Vile School Reunion I met Central Coast Bee, who I still have to call upon my return, so my drought is hopefully set to break!
Go Thailand!! Sawasdee!!

Wooooot

I want to be really careful about jinxing myself here.

But.

I think the Drought is officially over.

Although it should be said it was a somewhat self-imposed drought. I took some time out, I evaluated what I did and did not want in a partner, and I dug in my heels and waited. (And waited... and waited...) And even though it was difficult in the extreme I think I learned something, grew as a person, all that bullshit, and now I am more balanced and mature as a result.

NOW LET'S NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN.

Meanwhile, I think I could fall in love with this guy. I think I AM falling in love with this guy.

Like, you know when you have sex with someone for the first time, and it's always that little bit disappointing? And then you freak out that it is indicative of how sex is going to be with that person forever and ever and OH GOD the sex was better with your ex even though they were a GIANT ARSE who smoked, treated you as their personal chauffeur and were just generally a big fat annoying ARSE HEAD all of the time.

Not that the first time with my current lover was bad. But just, you know, a bit awkward in places, both people still fairly guarded with each other, that sort of thing.

But last night I went over there and things just seemed to click into place. (Cuffs... cock... lol). But before any of that happened he gave me a massage! He's recently completed a massage course and he's got the table and everything, and man, it was amazing.

*distracted from typing momentarily by massage induced drooling*

Note: Massage tables are also the ideal height for other activities. Plus they're padded with all sorts of places to tie rope...

He's just so great. *sigh* He makes me all dreamy. All wet dreamy. Lol.

Sorry to be annoying happy people. But it makes a nice change from the bitter, depressed cynical in the extreme Agent Z.

In other news a certain ex of mine turns 30 tomorrow. 30 years of age. Craaaazy.

Sorry Alll!!!

Why hello everyone!!! I must admit I have been sadly absent from Bees since starting my new job. I don't get nearly enough fart-assing around time anymore!!!! AS such, I haven't checked for ages, and I am sorry.

Go Agent that has recently got nookie!!! Go you, hope he isn't a turd and has called you since. :)

RSVP agent, I fear that path is fraught with danger, and drop kicks. Although we did establish that Vomiting-Groomsman-Bee had an RSVP profile didn't we....can't all be terrible apples then can they?

O/S Bee, I hope you're getting lots of rumpy-pumpy action in nice hotels and fun new places@!!!

Hub-bee and I have been frightfully boring I think, nothing much to report other than wearing my smart balls all night at an event, and Hub-Bee loves bouncing into my hips repeatedly. LOL.

Profile Photos NOT TO PICK

Agent Z asked if I had any joy in the RSVPing department, and while there is some possible potential (even though the whole process still galls me unending) I thought I'd care to share one of the profile photos from my 'interested parties.'
I notice a lot about profile photos, the classic photo is usually some guy who has hacked out his ex missus from the photo leaving behind the telltale shiny-hair-on-shoulder look.

This one is a fucking classic, and I didn't even read the profile past looking at the photo. Lets take a moment;


Point One: Who are you Viviyan? NO. Unless you have stars on your bleach blond head I do not want to see an up yours in sight.
Point Two: Is that a beret? Frank Spencer wore a beret mate, not cool even with you're geetar in the forefront of the shot. Go and write a poem you want to be emo.

Point Three: I think Carmen Electra is hot, it's a toss up who when she and Dave Navarro were married as to who I'd rather be, but is a profile photo a proper medium for expressing this? I think not.

Not to mention I hate this holding camera in bedroom look, and I can't get over the fact he looks twelve.
This is the kind of thing which has stopped me from actually sourcing any kind of decent candidate (what is this recruitment?) because photo aside he's almost ignore my 'ideal guy' thingy, he lives in the city and I said I wanted someone in the west, he's 19 and I said 22 to 29 (not a huge age gap but hey I'm not dating a 30yr old!)...

With some luck I will discover the descendant of a Norse God wandering the sands of Thailand... sigh, or not, whatever.

There is a God

I shagged someone this week. And they weren't female, dead, an ex, or currently in a relationship. And it was awesome.

This is a miracle!! That is the only explanation for this. I'm just about to ring the Pope so I can officially lodge my miracle and have the person who facilitated this made into a Saint.

Who is this mystery Bee??

I met him at a dinner last week. It was a dinner in Newtown for people of shared interests (happens every month - I'm on a mailing list for people under 30 with said interests) and I got his number then. He's tall, thin, blond, blue eyes, 27 years old. Anyway there was little text action over the week and I started to lose hope. Then all of a sudden, after a flitatious text conversation on Wed night, we decided to meet after work on Thurs and go shopping on Oxford st. For, er, clothes. Then we went back to his house in Stanmore for, er, dinner.

Anyway, it was kinda magic.

We went to Hellfire on Friday night as originally planned (with the under 30's group that we've made friends with) but it was kinda... not as fun as being alone with him. Fun, but yeah. Anyway we went back to his house where I stayed the night.

Got home this morning. It's all so surreal.

Anyway I don't know if it's going to go anywhere. I'm now in that paranoid 'oh God what if he never calls again' frame of mind. But, I think it's safe to say I'll see him again.

And if not - well I'm still happy. Cos man, I really needed that :p

Bees out.

Cannot Cope

I am in over my head.

I've now been an RSVP member for a week, if it were AA I'd get my seven day chip.
I've had 138 kisses, emails and chat requests. I am not that interesting surely, I can't be!

I can't be sure whos true potential because I've got so many fucking things to reply to. I've even limited my inbox to only recieved ten a day.
Its like defcom five, I've gotta get in all my replies before the enemy attacks with another round.

Haha something funny did happen, I gave a Bee my email address and he sent an email saying 'my name nice girl' hahaha,I thought... well thats weird. Then sent another email explaining he was going to email me from work.
Apprently Im a nice girl.

Well Agent Z I don't think it's too much to ask to see if your Bee is still in the land of the living. But of course having said that, if he doesn't have the consideration to reply fuck him.
Fuck em all.

What's wrong with this picture?

(Not this picture. Nothing wrong with a scantily-clad cat girl.)

I think I've reached the bottom. Today I found myself trawling through the obituaries section of smh.com to try and determine whether a love interest of mine had died. When you find yourself doing this, perhaps it is time to stop and evaluate. One can't help but be reminded of that line from that song:

"Don't be no fool when
Love really don't love you."

This is D-Bee. (Myspace guy, the one with the drug history, the one who caused all that shit with my aunt and her somewhat doubtful choice in father of her child. If anyone is confused, don't worry. I think I'm mostly writing this to myself).

After everything happened with my aunt and uncle, D-Bee sent me an email apologising profusely and saying that he hoped I could forgive him. He said not to worry, he wouldn't be going anywhere. This meant everything to me - to know that even though things were shitty I could at least I could rely on D-Bee to talk to.

This was over two weeks ago.

Since then he hasn't been online at all and hasn't responded to my email that bluntly asked him to let me know "yes" or "no" if we were talking anymore.

I don't have his phone number. I don't know where he lives. I don't know his last name. And yet I spoke with this person about every third night for hours (online) since the beginning of the year. We told each other some big, personal things. I felt, in some strange disconnected way, that I knew him, or at least I knew I wanted to know him. The night that the crap happened with my uncle D-Bee was talking about the possibility of meeting - which was huge for him considering the drug past (and associated complications), etc.

And now he has disappeared off the face of the planet and there's nothing I can do but look through the obituaries. And this is, like, EVERY obituary as I don't have his last name.

Is it too much to ask for my prospective dates to be mentally sound, not addicted to something, in possession of a driver's lisence and ALIVE???

Fucking hell.

p.s. Agent Y please let us know how RSVP goes. (Hopefully well!) I've heard it can work but due to my freak-magnetism I've given up on the internet.

I'll let you know if D-Bee ever turns up again. Preferably not in a body bag.

*Cringe* I joined RSVP

Well I joined RSVP.
Through lack of other alternatives I joined spur of the moment Monday evening, and had intended to blog about it but had to respond to the dozen kisses, two emails and three instant chat requests I had.
Today is Thursday and I've had 76 fucking emails, kisses and chat requests. SINCE TUESDAY.
Sounds like a nice idea in theory, but I'm having to be really ruthless about who I reply to with positive answers.
Anyone who is over the age limit, 28/29 and out of my area (west, I don't drive after all) unless they are cute or have good profile get an almost automatic reply of 'you don't meet my perfect match criteria' or something almost nasty.
I've had to do this out of necessity now, because otherwise they get hopeful and then there are more emails and kisses involved.
I can't see two guys at once much less talk to 70 of them. Christ.
And then the real flip out was, encountering not only the DropKick Bees I've already blogged about, but a Bee I went to school with!! Hahaha funny old world.

Will keep posted with progress...

No lovin take 2/3/4

"Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And
departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time.

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and
shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up
and doing.
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still
pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait."
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Granted it’s a bit wordy, but I get what Wadsworth is saying, I think he might be onto something here, and I think that the same can be applied to my drought situation.
No longer am I scornful (ok maybe a little) of those giving or receiving sexual gratification, it gives me hope that one day I too, a forlorn shipwrecked sister can take heart and will have sex again!
But then we get to the problematic final stanza, the one where I have to do something in order to achieve a result… oh man. Cheer up, Agent Y, nothing comes from nothing.
I'm sadly lacking in the respect that I am going out and meeting new people, I can't have sex with any of the old ones, don't have any current ones - boy I am in a quandary, a boy quandary.
HAHA oh that was witty.

I also find, I have gone through stages, like one goes through grief, from abject annoyance to complete indifference.I now find that living in my parents home, and not having sex (or even the odd pash and dash) I have reversed into some kind of childlike stasis. The only difference between now and childhood, is a meager paycheck. It seems Peter Pan had it right?

Pussy ring?

This is a ring.

Made of sterling silver.

For your finger.

With a pussy on it.

True story.

Want one?

Pussy rings

Check it out!

These shoes were on sale for $25! From a normal old shoe shop near my work. How awesome are they!

Just wanted to show off.

Balcony lovin' ~~~

Ooh we had hot balcony lovin last night, finally!

And I think there were people on the balcony next door after we'd finished! Maybe they came out to listen to us. (couldn't see anything)

Totally hot though, and made absolutely no effort to be quiet which was great! LOL.

After I came in spectacular fashion, gave Bee (can anyone suggest good name for my Bee?) great blow job using my boobs, which he appreciated. I then had to run all the way to the kitchen however to spit yuckness out, as if I don't take it lying on my back I can't manage to swallow the stuff. Yum.

Lewd Lesbian Lovin'

I think the title pretty much sums it up.

After all my complaining, I finally got laid. I didn't think it would be with a chick but hey. It was quality!

My weekend of course started with Hellfire. I thought it would be difficult to get my tits for all the world to see (for benefit of Agent V - I went with these black and red felt stars glued over my nipples. Can send pics if people are curious. I considered it a good look. Tasteful, y'know.) but no. I nearly left the house without my coat!!

Our night included podium dancing with leather-clad men, general dancing (more fun with boobs out I tell you), me getting tied to a frame and whipped but guy wearing leather skirt that featured his bum hanging out of (bum hanging guy was total freak but good whipper) and me falling instantly in love with this beautiful guy with long black hair and a real flair with a crop. I managed to catch his eye and we smiled (I believe we shared a 'moment') but unfortunately he was with a bunch of people who left fairly early. He also appeared to be with some chick (very hot and amazing boobs dammit) so bah. Anyway, I got out of my shell and met new people and was merry and such, it was great. And great cos I trust my Girlfriend Bee and she looks after me in these situations - makes sure no one takes advantage of me (in a bad way). Will have to get my boobs out more often methinks!

We were too tired for lovin that night but the following afternoon we had some time to kill so Girlfriend Bee hogtied me. Which led to her touching me up. Which led to her going down on me and me coming my brains out. (Yes, I have gone for the classier spelling there. We are, after all, classy ladies). Then she rolled me over and sat on my face. Also fun ;)

Then, birthday celebrations. Sorry could not talk about this at said birthday celebrations but was a bit difficult to gloat considering Girlfriend Bee was there. ("Heeeeey! Guess who scored!!") Had piles of fun dancing like maniac and talking to Long Hair Bee #2. Who is this guy and why have I not been informed there is a pretty/weird-in-a-kinda-endearing-way guy wandering around with lovely long hair? Hmm??

Went home, again too tired for naughtiness. But next day had awesome giant breakfast at Westfield (the scenic tour of Sydney) and then checked out the local sex shop I had always been curious about. Girlfriend Bee bought two (count them) strap-ons. And can you believe I was still so naive at this point I didn't think she'd be using them on me??

Flatmate Bee goes out for the day. Girlfriend Bee and I again have time to kill. So she ties me up again but this time does me from behind with a strap on. (And her 'cock' was on the larger side! I am still sore!!) We also tried missionary, which was also very, very hot. Then she put it on me so she could ride me (me on my back). I can appreciate now how awesome a position that is for a guy - just lie back and enjoy the sex - no wonder so many of my lazy ex-boyfriends kept insisting on that one.

This went on for a couple of hours.

I drove her to the airport that night and we kissed goodbye - right there at the car drop off point in front of everyone. People stared. It was funny.

So, in conclusion, for someone who defines herself as 'straight' I appear to have had sex with women more times now than is purely accidental or experimental. I guess I'd say I'm about 20% bi. But ultimately still like boys, don't know why but they spin my wheels even though they're mostly all crap. Especially if they have long hair...

Incidentally, for anyone who has been following my Myspace Bee saga - I now have a satisfactory answer as to why we can't meet. We spoke online last night and basically it comes down to a long dark drug past which he is still getting over and doesn't want to expose me to. Which is very considerate of him. (Men - I sure know how to pick 'em, eh?) It's a real shame cos I really like him. But perhaps am only intrigued by the mystery of it all. That and he is a millionaire who owns four cars including a Porche. (!!!)

Anyway, I'm happy. And shagged. And a lesbian, aparently. Thought I'd share :)

Dirtyspoke

*fanning self* I implore you to read this blog Dirtyspoke.

*****Warning!!!*****

Not for the faint hearted, and don't do what I did and read it at work! Makes for uncomfortable squirming and fast window closing. LOL

Valentines

Card. Expensive Lingerie. Dinner. Wine. Champagne.

Nice Restaurant. Holding hands. Chocolate. Sex.

What's missing!? Could it be the orgasm? Could it? Could it????? I, I, I think it is!!!

Holy macaroni! I know the cardinal rule is not to mention dissatisfaction whilst you're still actually IN bed, but the point is, if I've actually pointed it out, I want the situation fixed! Pah. Can't remember after that. Must have fallen asleep. Much frustration. I guess thats why everyone hates Valentines day!! Mine was moments away from being 100% perfect! And instead I am super grumpy-girl today. I woke up and DreamBee looks at me and says - are you still mad at me? With puppy dog eyes. The problem is I'm not mad, I'm..? I don't know! But it ain't good. Grumble. Big grumble.

In other news, how was the warming?

x Agent Vee for Valentines' Vipes

PS I forgot to mention that the good morning blow-job means that he came twice in one day whilst I am still out of commission. Perhaps that is adding to my grumbles? I think Yes.

LMAO

Of all the gin joints

Space is big, really big and like other large empty spaces it collects a bit of rubbish, space junk from various Apollo missions and land fill jettisoned into space.
Like outer space, cyber space is infinitely huge. You can do everything online, buy clothes, shoes, the Hollywood sign, food, talk to people from the other side of the world and date people without bellowing over pub music. But it’s also when I discovered the cyber space dating junk!
Deciding to consider a sortie into internet dating wasn’t that hard, without having to join up I could go window shopping for potentials all while sitting in my pj’s!
Then I saw them. Not one skeleton in the cupboard but two!
And one of them StandUp Bee! The outrage! !!!
Looking at his ad, it looks like some disgruntled ex (not me) has hacked his account and rewritten his profile. That or, he IS incredibly screwed up and has the self esteem of a bison.
The second one is BestFriendsEx Bee. With whom I had a one night stand with his friend in his living room (not my finest hour clearly), and then last year (or maybe the year before??) had a fling with another of his mates RedHead Bee.
After some deliberation and then reconsideration I’ve posted the DropKick Bees photos which have been blurred to protect the not so innocent.

This one IS funny

Rape Comic?

Umm. is it wrong I find this kind of funny?

On the band wagon

Right X, well talk at the party about traveling… Z are you coming? Bad Bee needs discussion!
Good work V, I think you’ve done well. Sampled a nice selection… missed out on Irish Bees though!


God, seems like the only thing more pitiful than thinking about your lame sex life is actually accounting it.

Jan; BFNYE05 pash converts himself from pash and dash to pash and see whats happens. Croatian Bee and I have a few dates, he had really hot upper arms. We make out in the car, but after a while there’s no use getting into anymore heavy petting (haha)due to silly little car.
End Jan; StandUp Bee reenters the scene, groveling. Dad is quite sick, I suppose I could blame it all on being a bit vulnerable but I still liked him so we start up on the road to no return.
After a considerable period of me being very suspicious, StandUp Bee and I float about for a while having some pseudo-relationship thing. We have sex, etc but only as dirty weekend or in the car (or park) (AHA! Obviously something’s not right! All signs ignored)
March; pine for gorgeous Queensland Bee, I met at the fiddler and sustain text flirting and we never really manage to have anything (essentially because he has a child and lives in QLD), but he’s sooo pretty.
April; all fairly uneventful, still persisting with StandUp Bee but manage kissing Inappropriate Bee.
August; Ignore amoral kiss merrily, until StandUp Bee lives up to his namesake and stands me up for a date without any notice. For the second time, lying motherfucker.
September; Drought. Not wishing to see, well people really.
October; Continuance of Drought. Now moved onto abject jaded glibness, which is SO attractive.
November; semi interested crush on Peirced/Tattooed Bee, only to peter out. Merry partying with Agents, weeeeee. Fun encounter with Cousin Bees, should have snogged my bee… why not? WHY! Exchanged for lame hand holding and strange intimacy. Pretty dresses and flowers, myth about bridesmaid beating men off with sticks only impeded by lack of single blokes.
December; semi-crush of convenience on Paintball Bee, really not my type. But good arms, again with my down fall the arms.
NYE; drink enough grog to slow an elephant and pash random EminemWigga Bee.

Lady Bees

Lol hilarious. You've had a very full year!! You need to do something about your font size too, it should be set to normal.

And your avatar is cool!!! You need to insert it as a pic in each post though.

I didn't know you had back of the car sex with Phone Bee. He was such a waste of your time *huff*

Dating Wonderland 06

Noticed Agent Z's Dating Wonderland Post and thought it would be fun to share mine! (Bees should ALL, though potentially less of an exciting story with Agent X but oh well)

J: Single but sleeping with ex! OK with it but being pestered by ex who is attempting self destruction and insists on telling me all about it at inappropriate times... woo. Note: And the sex is always bad!
F: Have booked trip OS and looking forward to accented shagging all over the globe, no action(and not missing it!).
M: Same as F.
A: Embark on trip -avidly watching for appropriate menfolk (somewhat amateurishly due to extended relationship with ExBee) and attempt to avoid encounter with TourBee due to lack of interest on my behalf.
M: Decide what the hell, as TourBee is ALWAYS checking me out whenever I turn around and am also getting somewhat aroused by the attention! Encounters involve late night vodka fuelled pashing, waking up in a bed I don't remember getting to with most of my clothes off, vodka fuelled shenanigans indoors and outdoors and discovering at the last instance that if a guy seems to be exceptionally good at pleasuring a girl in non-penetrative ways, then after a while it may be a good bet he needs some nasal spray technology for his...'condition'. Still, guilt was probably the only drawback!
Was snogged by Hot German Bee mid month, annoyed at feeling guilty about TourBee and not enjoying it more! He was HOT dammit!
J: One night stand in extremely nice hotel, though was too drunk to remember most of the night and also was drunkenly aparty to a decision to stay in the one of a gazillion hotels that's aircon was broken. Yeeurch...... stupidly hot! Biggest regret - not being sober enough to remember to best part of the night! Was OK with returning to consciousness to find myself 'having' sex, but bummed when he didn't call me... 2nd regret, being too drunk for any contribution to the act! I have a slight feeling I wasn't the best lover in the world that night! D'oh. He was cute too! (and big nob!)
J: The beginning of The Drought. The Pining begins for DreamBee/BritishBee.
A: Spend hours dancing with/against SmallmouthBee(so named because of his annoyingly small mouth, how can you get into a pash if you feel like you're about to eat their whole face off?) A few pashes ensue. I run away without leaving my number, but then feel cold as it is now 6am and I am in the middle of a tent in a field with no warm body behind me, dang! Feel guilty about not devoting all attentions to DreamBee! (Weird, I know)
S: Awesome Continental holiday, attempt to crank it up with DreamBee, reverse effect is true and Bee turns to my friend instead, who instead of acknowledging months of my pining attempts to shack up with him herself. Bitch!
O: Excellent girls' night out plan to pick up goes to plan in record time, almost feel like I'm over DreamBee, renewed self confidence! Dating He Who Forgot His Phone who has an awesome set of abs in an irritating game playing fashion for a couple of weeks. Slightly awkward sex in the back of his car (luckily spacious), then peters out. Not too bummed as had a suprisingly small wang for someone so hot. Ahh the ways of the world.
N: Partying it up with Agents and SisterBees! Great for self confidence and fun times, no dating! Failed attempt to avoid being kissed by guy I danced with then us all being invited back to their hotel room for the night. They were suprised when we revealed that no, we weren't 'full keen' after all. We weren't! No loving at singles dance 4th Nov despite looking awesome - I think you'll hear me on that one Agents.....
(Meanwhile DreamBee & friend break up.)
D: Return to Wonderland and avoid topic of pining with DreamBee. Return to life as normal until DreamBee's trip away. The week after this I become aware of a subtle change - can it be true? Weirdnesses include actual meaningful looks (not imagined this time, like other occasions), and extra physical contact! (I of course noticed this as I could have almost listed the times physical contact occured previously! Partially due to rarity, and like I said, I was infatuated!) Plus a meeting at the pub that really felt like a date, especially considering that I was invited then bought drinks! Woo! Once home a nonspecific conversation about logistics of potential relationships ensued (much blurriness on my behalf due to consumption of 2 large glasses of wine (that's half a litre kids) and awkward but nice hugs.
End of the week arrives and its 100% obvious so no risk involved in making moves - woo! He had more positions up his sleeve that I've had hot dinners...certainly never expected that! Enter the week of honeymoon - then stupid Christmas and I am alone til New Years. Bring in the new year in style with a new man. Finally things were looking up....

So, that's caught up to now methinks!

Nuff about me, Agent what's going on with ArseholeBee? Good work with your determination to avoid him though, your efforts are admirable! No moral highground here since me & DreamBee is still a big fat secret....!

Travel travel

I'm not quite sure what you're saying there Y, Are you advocating living in sex or not? It's working for us I guess.

Travel! We are interested in travel this year (yeah good work on the notice-23rd of January!)

We're not really sure where we can afford yet either, I'd really love to go to Italy but I haven't consulted Catholic Bee. We were wanting to go to the snow this year too, but that's a separate thing altogether really and not worth mentioning.... hehehe

We can chat at Housewarming about it I guess!

Bad Bee! Oh you Agent you. I'm glad you took sister bee though, to prevent any shenannigans from occuring. I think he's an asshole actually for stringing you along, you know he's only doing it to make himself feel better about his shitty relationship. He knows it doesn't HELP YOU at all calling every few months to torment you.

I propose renaming him Asshole Bee.

That is all.