"CALL ME"

Call me (call me) on the line
Call me, call me any, anytime
Call me
(call me) oh love
When you're ready we can share the wine
Call me
- Blondie 'Call Me'

Well what an fucking uninspiring event.
As we know I went out with Mr. Huge on Saturday night, after a nearly normal date, movie, dinner we then got coffee and a drink - four dates in one?
I think I was cock drunk until Tuesday when he didn't reply to my text message I stopped and read all the markers on the road I'd left my blinkers on to ignore.
Let's review;
The date cramming was strange but I guess you never know what someone new is like, right?
He'd initially proffered me a safe journey home but instead traded it for 'stay at my house & go in the morning'
After said night over, he dropped me off saying 'you have my number'
Possibly the nail in the proverbial coffin but still I was naive enough to hope for the best of someone I have already been issued with command to expect the worst from.

Hense forth self imposed embargo on intimacy has been placed... well lets see

Un-friken-believable

So I went out with NYE Bee on Saturday night, and with no intention of doing so I ended up staying the evening.
We went to a movie, had dinner, had a coffee, had a drink... it was like speed dating the same person.
Now NYE Bee is a big strapping man type person, six foot four, arms like tree trunks the whole bit, you know what they say about big feet... big shoes?
Turns out NYE Bee has a MASSIVE wang, I did not my any mesure expect it to be small but couldn't quite believe (my luck? haha) my eyes.

This post may actually be an additional to the previous post, as when I was giving him a blow/hand job and he came, it was like a bad porno the actual volume of liquid - I was glad I didn't need to swallow!

Maybe why it's called a Blow Job?

Couldn't wait to blog about this one..

Don't know what kind of spit/swallow ratio we have in the Hive here, but I'm a bit of a swallow sort of a gal - more for completion's sake rather than it being my favourite flavour, but moving on. I was curious to know if this has happened to anyone else, or only me?

One morning, I was pottering about after my shower on the computer (blah!) and DreamBee wanders out with a massive hard-on. After a little bit of fun out in the living room in front of the window (and checking the webcam was off...) we moved into the bedroom where I continued my oral artistry with less neck crampage.

Moving onto the 'climax' of the story (come on, puns are cool, you know they are) and the funny part. DreamBee is kind of generously endowed, and my throat is kind of small, usually compensated for by movement or lips or whatever, but by one way or another I can generally breathe as well as execute an exquisite fellationic manouver. Not on this occasion. This time I managed to set off the old gag reflex at the same time as DreamBee came, and I suddenly realised that given I couldn't breathe, I couldn't swallow either. I also realised that there was more on its way as well. I'm sure my eyes would have bulged comically a moment before I gagged, then BLAM! Manjuice exploded everywhere, although by some miracle we managed to avoid getting it all over the sheets, it mainly staying all over him and a lot on me and in my hair. Even funnier was I spent the rest of the day feeling half drowned from the effort! What a spectacular embarrassment!!
But anyway, ROFL LMAO. And, eeewww!!

Beezout!

Dating Wonderland 06

Noticed Agent Z's Dating Wonderland Post and thought it would be fun to share mine! (Bees should ALL, though potentially less of an exciting story with Agent X but oh well)

J: Single but sleeping with ex! OK with it but being pestered by ex who is attempting self destruction and insists on telling me all about it at inappropriate times... woo. Note: And the sex is always bad!
F: Have booked trip OS and looking forward to accented shagging all over the globe, no action(and not missing it!).
M: Same as F.
A: Embark on trip -avidly watching for appropriate menfolk (somewhat amateurishly due to extended relationship with ExBee) and attempt to avoid encounter with TourBee due to lack of interest on my behalf.
M: Decide what the hell, as TourBee is ALWAYS checking me out whenever I turn around and am also getting somewhat aroused by the attention! Encounters involve late night vodka fuelled pashing, waking up in a bed I don't remember getting to with most of my clothes off, vodka fuelled shenanigans indoors and outdoors and discovering at the last instance that if a guy seems to be exceptionally good at pleasuring a girl in non-penetrative ways, then after a while it may be a good bet he needs some nasal spray technology for his...'condition'. Still, guilt was probably the only drawback!
Was snogged by Hot German Bee mid month, annoyed at feeling guilty about TourBee and not enjoying it more! He was HOT dammit!
J: One night stand in extremely nice hotel, though was too drunk to remember most of the night and also was drunkenly aparty to a decision to stay in the one of a gazillion hotels that's aircon was broken. Yeeurch...... stupidly hot! Biggest regret - not being sober enough to remember to best part of the night! Was OK with returning to consciousness to find myself 'having' sex, but bummed when he didn't call me... 2nd regret, being too drunk for any contribution to the act! I have a slight feeling I wasn't the best lover in the world that night! D'oh. He was cute too! (and big nob!)
J: The beginning of The Drought. The Pining begins for DreamBee/BritishBee.
A: Spend hours dancing with/against SmallmouthBee(so named because of his annoyingly small mouth, how can you get into a pash if you feel like you're about to eat their whole face off?) A few pashes ensue. I run away without leaving my number, but then feel cold as it is now 6am and I am in the middle of a tent in a field with no warm body behind me, dang! Feel guilty about not devoting all attentions to DreamBee! (Weird, I know)
S: Awesome Continental holiday, attempt to crank it up with DreamBee, reverse effect is true and Bee turns to my friend instead, who instead of acknowledging months of my pining attempts to shack up with him herself. Bitch!
O: Excellent girls' night out plan to pick up goes to plan in record time, almost feel like I'm over DreamBee, renewed self confidence! Dating He Who Forgot His Phone who has an awesome set of abs in an irritating game playing fashion for a couple of weeks. Slightly awkward sex in the back of his car (luckily spacious), then peters out. Not too bummed as had a suprisingly small wang for someone so hot. Ahh the ways of the world.
N: Partying it up with Agents and SisterBees! Great for self confidence and fun times, no dating! Failed attempt to avoid being kissed by guy I danced with then us all being invited back to their hotel room for the night. They were suprised when we revealed that no, we weren't 'full keen' after all. We weren't! No loving at singles dance 4th Nov despite looking awesome - I think you'll hear me on that one Agents.....
(Meanwhile DreamBee & friend break up.)
D: Return to Wonderland and avoid topic of pining with DreamBee. Return to life as normal until DreamBee's trip away. The week after this I become aware of a subtle change - can it be true? Weirdnesses include actual meaningful looks (not imagined this time, like other occasions), and extra physical contact! (I of course noticed this as I could have almost listed the times physical contact occured previously! Partially due to rarity, and like I said, I was infatuated!) Plus a meeting at the pub that really felt like a date, especially considering that I was invited then bought drinks! Woo! Once home a nonspecific conversation about logistics of potential relationships ensued (much blurriness on my behalf due to consumption of 2 large glasses of wine (that's half a litre kids) and awkward but nice hugs.
End of the week arrives and its 100% obvious so no risk involved in making moves - woo! He had more positions up his sleeve that I've had hot dinners...certainly never expected that! Enter the week of honeymoon - then stupid Christmas and I am alone til New Years. Bring in the new year in style with a new man. Finally things were looking up....

So, that's caught up to now methinks!

Nuff about me, Agent what's going on with ArseholeBee? Good work with your determination to avoid him though, your efforts are admirable! No moral highground here since me & DreamBee is still a big fat secret....!