Damn

Well, I had the conversation I'd been avoiding with PVC.

Told him I had been planning to move to Melbourne, but would stay if he wanted me to stay. (Implication: he would quantify what we have as a relationship and things would become more serious - as much as I hate those words).

He said what I'd been dreading he'd say - that things would continue the same way if I chose to stay in Sydney. Which are not bad - but certainly not enough to relocate my 'dreams' for.

I realised later that I chose a bad time to bring this up as I was suffering PMT at the time. I started crying, arggghhhh, I couldn't believe how much of a girl I was being. (You won't commit to me?? Wahahahaha!!!!) He was nice to me, but god it was embarrassing.

Then there was awkwardness - should we keep seeing each other even though I'll be moving away in three months? We didn't really address this so much as have sex. Which was amazing. And yes I know that's really dysfunctional, but I'm comfortable with that.

At the end of it the consensus was yes, we should keep seeing each other, but now I don't know if I can do it.

But the sex...!

Aw, fuck.

Also I know my username has changed - I'm in the process of fiddling with my accounts.