North America - check!

I'm in a sharing mood! I only have one continent to go I think!

In order of appearance:
South America - check
Australia - check
Europe - check
Africa - check
North America - check!

Only Asia to go! LOL. My thing for accents is getting out of hand!?

out!

I also had the amusing experience of saying 'you don't remember my name do you?' hahahahaha.

More lovin than you can poke a pointed phallus at

Sorry I’ve been awol for a while. A whole bunch of sexy things happened and I didn’t really know where to start, and I still don’t. But I’ll give it a shot.

I’ve been living with PVC since the beginning of March and it just gets better. After a bit of a shaky start (with me basically having a giant panic attack that it would ruin the relationship and he would get sick of me and things would become altogether too similar to a different living relationship I had four years ago) we both have started to settle into it, and now it feels like we’ve made a very logical decision. It did change the relationship, but I think it’s for the better. It’s a bit more ‘real’ – I’ve stopped feeling like I have to be perfect all the time, and finally it feels like we’re partners as opposed to friends who have a lot of kinky sex. Our place is big enough to move around in without annoying each other, and we’re both encouraging each other to actually pursue our creative pursuits.

And there are just so many barf-worthy romantic things that make it so worthwhile – I cook for him, he sorts out my IT and technology woes, we bring each other little presents (he bought me pink hair dye the other day – so sweet!), we complain about our jobs, we fight over the blankets and toilet etiquette – haha, oh my god. The best thing is sleeping in the same bed – he is the first boyfriend I’ve actually enjoyed doing this with. It helps that he is easy to sleep with (he is so quiet and still that it’s basically like sleeping next to a corpse), but I just love that I know no matter how shitty the day is, at the end of it I’ll be lying next to him… ahh.

(Ok, ok, barf barf barf I know.)

Anyway, the sex. Well, I feared that living together would kill the passion, but if anything it seems we’re feeding off each other’s depravity, to the point where it’s probably going to reach this critical mass and our genitals will explode. But until then – wheeheehee! There are a lot of good things… and it’s hard to actually articulate what those are, so I feel I’m going to have to resort to the good old dot point.

• Sleep sex (waking in the night spontaneously fucking)
• Hypnosis sex (like having any fantasy made real. The other day I got to experience what having a cock is like.…!)
• Group sex (got wasted with a couple of good friends of mine, and we ended up having sex while they had sex, which was insanely sexy, and PVC took lots of arty photographs)
• Porn sex (PVC has some very good quality porn)
• Morning sex (an oldie but a goodie – and about to increase as I start night shift at work this week)
• Massage sex (nothing beats a happy ending…)
• Making luurve (um, yeah…)

Ok so this takes me up to all the kinky shit we’ve done of late. Which will need its very own dot point listing:

• Going to Melbourne for a party at a specialised fetish bed and breakfast. I ended up getting wrapped in cling wrap to this pretty guy with a rubber fetish, while PVC and the rubber fetishist’s partner tormented us. PVC also was an extremely good sport in terms of getting in there with the bi-curious action – by kissing and fondling the other bloke. Of which I have photographic evidence…
• Experiencing what it’s like being on the OTHER side of the cane/flogger/etc. Something I never thought appealed to me, but it’s getting more interesting.
• Getting promoted to joint-moderator of the Under 30’s group in Sydney. This has a few perks, and I’ve been working hard at expanding the group beyond the usual assortment of freaks. I feel like I’m finally using my lame organisational skills for good instead of evil!
• Helping PVC construct a ‘dungeon’ in the spare room of our house, and throwing our very own fetish party! Which was a rip roaring success! It’s a bit of a long story, but basically the Under 30’s group got approached by a reporter from Triple J. He was doing a story (for the ‘Hack’ program) about young people and fetish, and he wanted to meet us and to attend a private party so he could interview people and get an idea of what goes on. So, in a whirlwind of organisation (and a lot of trips to Bunnings) PVC and I managed to construct a ‘spanking frame’ out of bamboo and set up lights and massage tables and such to transform our apartment into a den of sin. About 15 people showed up, which was massive. So our house was packed out, and I was resplendent in rubber, and we put on a show for the reporter dude, who incidentally happened to be outrageously cute, and who also appeared to be suppressing an erection for the entire night. He interviewed me for about 45 minutes, where I totally spilled my guts, and it was an amazing and actually quite intimate experience. It will be going to air sometime in the next week – the program itself if on at 5:30pm every weeknight, or the podcast can be downloaded from http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/hack/

Which somewhat brings me to the end of this giant essay about what been going on in my sex life lately. Phew.

Bees out.

p.s. Is it wrong to have sex while your neighbour’s cat is sleeping on your bed?

V Day- Hub-bee

Hub-bee went to footy training. Lame, unromantic. No flowers (which admittedly I DO think are way over priced for V Day), nothing.
Not that I really expected anything. We had Thai which we got take away from our fave local. (Yes, Blue Eschallot) and wine. Actually I drank most of the wine while hub-bee ironed his shirts. Yep, this is what you have to look forward to ladies. LOL
So we watched our "programs" which we had taped from the previous night, and when they finished we came back into the middle of "medical emergency" where they were doing gastric bypass surgery on a woman who weighed 400+kg (about 868 pounds I think, it was American).
SO Sexy. We were totally in the mood for sexy time after looking at a "super morbidly obese" woman, which appears to be the medical term for ultra fat chick.

In the end, we got over it and did have fabulous sex, which was good as Tall-Hunky-Groomsman-Bee's bucks and hens is this weekend and I won't see him until Sunday night now :( (Friday morn now)

So that was my underwhelming V Day.

this that and the other

I finally got to wear my Anniversary undies! Woo!
Only two months over due. BUT I might say, as a married lady, it is handy to have a set of sexy undies not previously seen before when you're feeling a bit randy and your Hub-bee asks for an impromptu strip show.
Not feeling super confident in the strip show idea to begin with, at least I was able to reveal something a little bit special to distract in case my performance was less than stellar.

I might add, I had a wax yesterday (coincidence) and I would NOT advise having sexy time on the same day! Pain! Sort of horrid red raw rash thing on one side. You also shouldn't sweat just after a wax as sweat can get into your pores while they're still open and makes pimpley things. Ew.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I actually thought I was going to have the worst NYE ever this year. We committed early on to going to a house party being held by Tall-Hunky-Groomsman-Bee's Fiancee (get that?) and we discovered on the day of the party that we would be one of about 6 couples in attendance. Hmmm.....

One of said couples, when they drink, are torturously irritating.
THREE of said six couples are part of the "footy crowd" and when we got married we made a hard decision not to invite them to the wedding (remember those couples?) and as such they have never forgiven us, extremely immature of them, and when in mixed company they have generally ignored us (noticeably).

Awkward!

We spent all day trying to figure out how to avoid the party or make excuses to leave.
Ideas included "Agent X pretends to pass out at 7pm and has to be taken home"
"ring before we go and say Agent X went too hard too early and has already passed out(at 5pm)"
"feign some sort of food poisoning after eating something"
"pretend we have another engagement that we've only just discovered"
"plead family commitments" (Mother-in-law actually suggested this one and said she would back us up if questioned)

Hub-bee wouldn't be put off though, feeling we really DID need to go and make the best of it. So I fortified myself with three bottles of champagne (I don't know who I was kidding with the third) and prepared myself to drink until the people became interesting.

In the end, thankfully, another couple we are friends with were there to chat with. One of the three unpleasant couples, the worst of them, did a no-show (wonder if we influenced that?) and the other two may have adopted my idea as we were all wonderfully soused. Midnight brought cheers, air kisses and a dip in the pool. A dip where myself and two other girls started taking our tops off to compare boobs then everyone taking our bottoms off for the hell of it.

I'm actually wondering now if any of the not so drunk people are remarking at how badly I acted...being quick to disapprove of anyone....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We also had a little preggy scare. They're rare when you're on the pill, but I have discovered, not impossible. We almost thought about being parents.

Long Time No Bees

Hi guys!

Wow I've missed so much bee action! You have been buzzing like crazy here. I couldn't even check Bees while I was away cos I was using PVC's laptop and didn't want to leave anything incriminating in the internet history.

Agent Y: Very sorry to hear about the cockhead. And also sorry to hear about the freaky coincidence with sushi sister of China Bee. Freaky! Thought I was the only one who had unbearably awkward coincidental experiences!

Agent X: Speaking of coincidences - OMG! Bungalo 8 Bee!!! Wow, how bizarre! And I love the line about standing in the corner but looking hot. Go you lol.

Agent V: Ahahaha crack wax. Awesome. I've never been brave enought to get my vagina (lol) professionally waxed. I mean, I have a genital piercing, but even that was easier than getting it all off for a waxer. Not sure why, but that terrifies me. I just shave it. Piece of trivia: PVC shaves himself too. I watched him do it the other day - fascinating! He has to stretch his bits out to access it properly. Kind of hilarious.

As you know, I've been living it up in NYC, and I've had a blast. Lots of sexy sex, omg so much. One day we had sex in the morning, and then when we got back we had sex three more times.

Also had awesome adventures in all the sex shops over there. PVC and I bought matching rubber underpants, so we can be stylish next time we take our clothes off at a fetish event. And I got a new (purple) corset, for the bargain price of US $50!! PVC took some lovely photos of me in it (and the underpants)... it even gives me cleavage! Cleavage, people!!

Also, I think I might be working at the sex shop in Newtown after all. They ditched me initially because they hired someone who could start sooner, but that girl is now talking about moving to Byron Bay. So I start in January! Yaaay!!!

See you all soon, except Agent V - bummer we didn't quite make it with the meet up! But hopefully see you again not too distant future.

Bees out.

Me and PVC

Oh, guys.

Went over to see PVC last night. Met up with him at a party with some of his old work friends, and ended up just talking to him while everyone else watched the rugby. Without it being some big serious conversation I mentioned to him how confused I was feeling about my life. We decided to talk about it back at his place (after racing each other back to Stanmore... he won).

When I got there PVC had decided to start chiseling the mouldy paint off the wall in the bathroom. (I have complained about the bathroom so many times that he cleaned the floor with disinfectant and now he's de-mouldifying the wall. I'm so touched!). Anyway I watched him scrape the wall for a really long time and then we had a shower and went to bed. We had sex, it was nice, (no orgasms on my part but I was pretty much too tired to care), and we started to go to sleep.

Then, halfway between sleep, somehow we started fucking again. It was this surreal, beautiful, incredible thing, you know sex that just happens, that you don't have to think about, and there was colour and warmth and it was like the walls were melting and there was nothing between us and the sky.

(I'm claiming my right to artistic licence here, ok?)

So I came about a million times and then when I was done I went down and blew him until he came for the 2nd time that night.

Then we were just lying there, off our faces with endorphins. We turned our faces to look at each other and he said "I love you." I said "I love you, too."

We talked until the sun came up, and finally got about 2 hours sleep in the morning.

When we woke up we just looked at each other and knew that everything was different. In a good way. He said "I had the best dream!"

Then we went to Ikea so he could buy things to make his house less like a hovel.

I feels, in this stupid cliched way, like my life is just starting.

Ahh!

Also, happy birthday Agent X! Woot!

More sex than you can poke a pointed stick at.

One weekend. Five orgasms.

I am in a mood to inflict gory details. (Now that we have a shiny new disclaimer, I'm going to personally ensure we get the most value out of it.)

#1. Tied to ceiling of PVC's balcony. (Hands cuffed together, rope wrapped around cuffs and attached to ceiling).

#2. In bed with PVC, after rope/balcony. I came purely from him touching my nipple. He has instituted awesome system whereby he tells me to cum... and it works. For real. Omg.

#3. Later in evening, after rousing walk around streets of Newtown for goth festival in full goth get up. (PVC dressed in his namesake, let me put makeup on him. Mascara, lipstick, the works. Men in vinyl and makeup... oh, man.) So anyway sex took place fully clothed, me in corset, him on top, and, miraculously, we came AT THE SAME TIME. This... is unheard of. For whom does this ever actually happen??? I nearly died both from sensory overload and disbelief.

#4. Next day. Watching fetish porn in bed on projector. (Yes, porn on a projector, it doesn't get much more OTT. Nerds - they are so great. Perverted and have an ability to install things correctly.) PVC gets himself off while fingering me. Added points for amazing multi-tasking skills on his part.

#5. Still in bed, about 20 minutes later. Decide one orgasm just wasn't enough. Ended up gyrating against PVC until I have, and I am not exaggerating, a screaming orgasm. I literally screamed. It was so intense that later in the day I was HOARSE. Slight pang of guilt re: PVC's sex deprived housemates. They always look so haggard when they see me around the house.

So, there you have it. I'm beside myself I'm so happy. Still plan to move away in November, but will deal with when come to I suppose.

More Family guy Sex

Rules eh?

I'm afraid I've missed a reference somewhere? I thought 'The Rules' was a book written by manipulative women on how to score a husband 1950's style?

All of that aside, this boy is sounding very charming indeed. In the debaucherous world in which we live it is nice to know there are some gentlemen out there with restraint and respect yet. (I mean that without irony btw!)

I was just in the mood for a random musing so here I am. As Agent X knows I went to Hellfire last night and ran into a person we both went to school with a very long time ago... bit hard to name names in this context but hmm it was weird. I wore my rubber for the first time! It was so wonderful. I was worried I would have a blow-out on the dancefloor or somesuch but the good people at Reactor make a quality product. Someone took a photo of me and boyfriend bee (more on this upgraded title later) in his pvc Hellraiser coat, *drool*, the only problem being we couldn't exactly rub against one another cos we got stuck. But there are worse people to get stuck to ;)

Oh, as soon as I have the photo I'll email it.

So, I think I'm 'having a relationship' with someone. It's been so long that I'm not sure how this whole thing works anymore. But, I think we've crossed a line whereby things have become a little more 'serious' than they maybe were in the beginning. Behold, my evidence:

* I told him I was not interested in having sex with anyone other than him (stemmed from a conversation regarding safe sex... as we are trying to be responsible adults woo)

* We went to Woolworths together and did the "repulsively happy couple being childish together in a supermarket" thing (a true mark of a serious adult relationship if you ask me)

* We went home from Hellfire early as he is more interested in having sex with me than whipping other random chicks

* I slept over at his house two nights in a row... and actually slept. (I find it really hard to share a bed, but he is so slight and quiet and not too hot that we even cuddle in bed. Oh my god.)

* Ummm, just then he called me, saying someone had been banging on his front door and he was ringing "the few people closest to me" to see if they had been trying to get in. For someone who doesn't say anything sentimental it was fairly touching to be included in that category.

Anyway I'll stop boring you all with this rubbish.

Except! 'Boyfriend bee' is both ambiguous and lame. Therefore he will from now on be known as PVC Bee.

Also, I might have fucked him with a strap on glass dildo this morning.

Good times.

They really ARE hot pants!!!

These pants are awesome. I am the proud owner of a pair!
A bit sticky on the dancefloor but what the hell. I am always sticky on the dancefloor anyhow.

Dreambee freaked out on the phone when I told him of my purchase, though more when I told him of my intentions to wear them out in public..... woooo!
Digest of antics coming soon :o)

Sorry Alll!!!

Why hello everyone!!! I must admit I have been sadly absent from Bees since starting my new job. I don't get nearly enough fart-assing around time anymore!!!! AS such, I haven't checked for ages, and I am sorry.

Go Agent that has recently got nookie!!! Go you, hope he isn't a turd and has called you since. :)

RSVP agent, I fear that path is fraught with danger, and drop kicks. Although we did establish that Vomiting-Groomsman-Bee had an RSVP profile didn't we....can't all be terrible apples then can they?

O/S Bee, I hope you're getting lots of rumpy-pumpy action in nice hotels and fun new places@!!!

Hub-bee and I have been frightfully boring I think, nothing much to report other than wearing my smart balls all night at an event, and Hub-Bee loves bouncing into my hips repeatedly. LOL.

There is a God

I shagged someone this week. And they weren't female, dead, an ex, or currently in a relationship. And it was awesome.

This is a miracle!! That is the only explanation for this. I'm just about to ring the Pope so I can officially lodge my miracle and have the person who facilitated this made into a Saint.

Who is this mystery Bee??

I met him at a dinner last week. It was a dinner in Newtown for people of shared interests (happens every month - I'm on a mailing list for people under 30 with said interests) and I got his number then. He's tall, thin, blond, blue eyes, 27 years old. Anyway there was little text action over the week and I started to lose hope. Then all of a sudden, after a flitatious text conversation on Wed night, we decided to meet after work on Thurs and go shopping on Oxford st. For, er, clothes. Then we went back to his house in Stanmore for, er, dinner.

Anyway, it was kinda magic.

We went to Hellfire on Friday night as originally planned (with the under 30's group that we've made friends with) but it was kinda... not as fun as being alone with him. Fun, but yeah. Anyway we went back to his house where I stayed the night.

Got home this morning. It's all so surreal.

Anyway I don't know if it's going to go anywhere. I'm now in that paranoid 'oh God what if he never calls again' frame of mind. But, I think it's safe to say I'll see him again.

And if not - well I'm still happy. Cos man, I really needed that :p

Bees out.