Marry me

for better > for worse
for richer > for poorer
in sickness > and in health.

The part about the sickness however sort of hinders the sexy sex.
As you all know, I have been horribly coughing for the last three weeks, which severly restricted bedtime action. We did it early on (in the lurge), and while it was good, I hacked all the way through it, then I got sicker and sicker and it just wasn't happening.

This week I've pretty much gotten over it all (yay!) and its been a small sex fest. Sex fest; for us, small; because its only a few times. LOL.
We had a great session Wednesday afternoon, Hub-bee walked in from work and it was ON. Hot. Hehehe.
Then again this morning, which was great, half awake action I reckon is fantastic. Hub-bee is going to Christian Music Festival (yes I know, Ew) all Long Weekend, which is when we usually have lots of action. We're such classic living-together couple. Too tired mostly, but on Long Weekends we'll frequently do it everyday, if not twice a day! So this morning was mostly to make up for the lack of weekend-time together, we had snuggles and sex, all in twenty-five minutes.

So, Fear not ladies!!! Yes the married crone is still getting action. There was just a small detour into- Infection-ville which prevented the Pork Sausage Picnic.

*sings* Blind date, ma-ma-mah Blind date!

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

These people who decide to 'introduce' (read 'set up') you to thier brother/cousin/ex boyfriends friends half brother, whatever.

Sitting at work today, when I get 'click'... look up looking bewildered etc, and one of the reps says 'I need a photo of you, for my brother. I've told him about you, and he wants a picture!'
To which I reply, in an oh-so-intelligent manner 'Ahhh'
'He's 26, tall, good looking, plays, rugby, owns his own house...' all this crap is sounding really appealing until then it dawns on me, and is also related to a loud mouthed woman who sets people up with thier brothers etc - BAD!

But as Sister Bee of Agent X, he might be a good lay? Huh well I suppose but that's boardering on shitting where one eats I think, and if nothing else this little blog excerise has taught us that is to be avoided at all costs (refer fat IT bee.)

Speaking of beebloggers, Agent X where are you? We know that my shag has just boarded a slow boat to bloody China, and Agent Billy is as last post suggests is having more sex and orgasms than one can poke a stick at.
Surely you are having hot martial sex on patio, stairwell or similar?

He's leaving on a jet plane, and I packed his bags

In the name of convincing myself I am a cool and understanding top-shelf kind of chick, on friday I helped facilitate my Non-Boyfriend Boyfriend GK Bee contact the school in China he is leaving to work for.
This is tantamount to packing his bags and saying "Goodbye nice guy I like, see you in one year (by which time I probably wont have met anyone anyway!)"
He's set to be gone by next week. NEXT WEEK!! Which leaves me totally emotionally unequipped for his leaving - of course execpt for the tiny fact I knew he was going in the first place.
So where does this all leave me? Well aside from sad because he's gone, angry at myself because I knew he was going - I guess ALSO SINGLE?

GAHHHH

More sex than you can poke a pointed stick at.

One weekend. Five orgasms.

I am in a mood to inflict gory details. (Now that we have a shiny new disclaimer, I'm going to personally ensure we get the most value out of it.)

#1. Tied to ceiling of PVC's balcony. (Hands cuffed together, rope wrapped around cuffs and attached to ceiling).

#2. In bed with PVC, after rope/balcony. I came purely from him touching my nipple. He has instituted awesome system whereby he tells me to cum... and it works. For real. Omg.

#3. Later in evening, after rousing walk around streets of Newtown for goth festival in full goth get up. (PVC dressed in his namesake, let me put makeup on him. Mascara, lipstick, the works. Men in vinyl and makeup... oh, man.) So anyway sex took place fully clothed, me in corset, him on top, and, miraculously, we came AT THE SAME TIME. This... is unheard of. For whom does this ever actually happen??? I nearly died both from sensory overload and disbelief.

#4. Next day. Watching fetish porn in bed on projector. (Yes, porn on a projector, it doesn't get much more OTT. Nerds - they are so great. Perverted and have an ability to install things correctly.) PVC gets himself off while fingering me. Added points for amazing multi-tasking skills on his part.

#5. Still in bed, about 20 minutes later. Decide one orgasm just wasn't enough. Ended up gyrating against PVC until I have, and I am not exaggerating, a screaming orgasm. I literally screamed. It was so intense that later in the day I was HOARSE. Slight pang of guilt re: PVC's sex deprived housemates. They always look so haggard when they see me around the house.

So, there you have it. I'm beside myself I'm so happy. Still plan to move away in November, but will deal with when come to I suppose.

template

I hope the text colour is acceptable I'm sorry but I couldn't read the last colour. I love the pic actually, the theme is quite opulent now..... LOL

Poll Results and New Layout

Poll results in people!!
Apprently 5 of us have an opinion on the best O position... I didn't even know there was five of us. Curious.

Also... I know I just updated the template but I just found this pic and went from there... let me know what you think, we can fiddle with the side bar colours etc. It's Dita Von Teese (bitch) FYI minus the naughty bits since I figured blogger would object.

There is a good reason sprain rhymes with pain

Obviously there is (as there should be) a difference between pain gained by using those muscules which in Singledom have long remained doment, and pain gained by an actual sex sprain.
Hobbling around the office has generated some interest today with reaching for items become a bit of an exploration in pain , 'what have you been doing?' seems to be the red hot question, what can reply be issued without rousing suspision? 'I played a massive round of golf and perfected my backswing.'
Of course, that is ridiculous and would only work if I knew what that actually meant. The truth of the matter is, I have a sexy sex sprain.
Saturday night after being out on the town with GKBee we came home pissed and had a great sex session, during he flipped me over, and pinned my hands behind my back and did a bit of hair pulling.
HOTT HOTT at the time, but apprently not a position ones arm are conditioned to be in with another perons weight on top.

Damn

Well, I had the conversation I'd been avoiding with PVC.

Told him I had been planning to move to Melbourne, but would stay if he wanted me to stay. (Implication: he would quantify what we have as a relationship and things would become more serious - as much as I hate those words).

He said what I'd been dreading he'd say - that things would continue the same way if I chose to stay in Sydney. Which are not bad - but certainly not enough to relocate my 'dreams' for.

I realised later that I chose a bad time to bring this up as I was suffering PMT at the time. I started crying, arggghhhh, I couldn't believe how much of a girl I was being. (You won't commit to me?? Wahahahaha!!!!) He was nice to me, but god it was embarrassing.

Then there was awkwardness - should we keep seeing each other even though I'll be moving away in three months? We didn't really address this so much as have sex. Which was amazing. And yes I know that's really dysfunctional, but I'm comfortable with that.

At the end of it the consensus was yes, we should keep seeing each other, but now I don't know if I can do it.

But the sex...!

Aw, fuck.

Also I know my username has changed - I'm in the process of fiddling with my accounts.

LMAO- when's she's *just not that into you*

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Woooo

I like it :)

My non boyfriend broke up with me

Well, after having a discussion with a friend on a Saturday's retail therapy trip I came home to a phone call the Central Coast Bee didn't think it was working.

Basically it all seems to have gone pear shaped somewhere in between Sunday to Saturday, when he's decided he didn't want to be an arsehole but its too hard (with him living in the Central Coast, maybe fair enough) and he's been single too long (whatever the fuck that means.)

So I called Agent Z, who was insufferably bubbly due to a short interlude with her favourite homosexual.
'Dating Sucks' we decided, and that after decades of dating people still hadn't managed to come up with anything actually comforting or constructive to say on the point of being dumped (thanks to my mate Jac for that one, geeez!)
Well now I have no date for this wretched wedding, great one of my friends someone to spend thier whole lives with and I can't get past a wedding. DRAT.

I am choosing to be positive, taking comfort in the fact that although he dumped me he wasn't that great a kisser anyway, and that even though he's leaving in a month I'm still dating a bee who shall hense forth be called Great Kisser Bee, haha nuff said.

Bees out

** UPDATE **

Have made up for dumping by going out and having FANTASTIC date & shag with Great Kisser Bee.
Went to lovely Manly for lunch, had a lovely grilled barramundi, chips and salad (salad totally ruined by apperance of bug lodged in salad dressing dispenser, ew) followed by yummy Copenhagen Tropical Passionfruit icecream, wandered along the beach then home for 3 O's.
Ahh I love sundays.

Weird Relationship Limbo

(cat girl)


I think the title says it all. What do you do when for all intents and purposes you are in a relationship... but at the same time you have no idea where you stand with that person, where it's going, what sort of boundaries there are... I mean the reason I've let all this go for so long is because I don't exactly approve of over-labelling everything, but there does come a point where you just want to know if someone is your goddamn boyfriend or not!!

I brought up the concept of me moving to Melbourne with PVC Bee. It went something like:

Me: "Don't suppose you want to move to Melbourne with me?"
Him: "Um... probably not."
Me: "Oh, ok."

Yeah, great discussion. Really constructive and helpful. Pfft.

Not to sound like a whingey pants, cos I do so enjoy the time I spend with PVC, and the sex just gets better... but still I feel that nothing about it is certain, and I'm just so tired of feeling like there's no point in getting close to someone because everything inevitably ends.

I mean, the last time I saw him, he was recovering from the flu. So I made dinner and brought it round and then had to spoon feed him (he wasn't really that sick, just enjoying the attention) and then I stayed the night where we held hands in our sleep... was really beautiful... and then in the morning it's all "see ya".

I'm confused :(

More Family guy Sex

Spanking

100th Post!!

We made it girls!! We may be sporadic, but we got there in the end!!!

Typical Musings

>':'< (meow)

So I was having a phone conversation with an ex of mine who currently lives in Melbourne. (It was late... why do they always contact me when it's very late on a Friday night and I'm somewhat out of it?) and we're chatting away, and somehow the conversation gets onto sex. Not that I ever want to shag this ex of mine ever again (I'm not just saying that, I really, really, don't) but hey a bit of harmless flirtation never hurt anyone. And I don't know how this came up but at some point in the conversation he revealed that I was the last person he slept with.

...say WHAT???

I was really quite shocked. That means the last time he had sex was well over a year ago, and it was utter crap. (I have immortalised this experience in a short story I wrote - possibly one of the most dismal sexual experiences of my life).

Which got me to thinking... how many people running around out there would list me as the last person they slept with? I know two are certain (one due to a religious transformation that happened shortly after our final round of ex sex... I like to think these things are unrelated) and now Melbourne bee. That leaves two more people I can't say for sure but would be willing to put money on... (one is female and one is that dude from last year with the incurable illness and such).

And then there's the person I'm currently shagging... I'm assuming I'm the last person he shagged... unless he's had a very busy 24 hours.

So what is that, five people??

Yikes.

In other news, the shagging of the current partner is going exceedingly well. I still don't know where I stand with him on an emotional level, which is concerning, but with sex this good who gives a damn.

The drought is over... Hallelujah Amen.

Rules eh?

I'm afraid I've missed a reference somewhere? I thought 'The Rules' was a book written by manipulative women on how to score a husband 1950's style?

All of that aside, this boy is sounding very charming indeed. In the debaucherous world in which we live it is nice to know there are some gentlemen out there with restraint and respect yet. (I mean that without irony btw!)

I was just in the mood for a random musing so here I am. As Agent X knows I went to Hellfire last night and ran into a person we both went to school with a very long time ago... bit hard to name names in this context but hmm it was weird. I wore my rubber for the first time! It was so wonderful. I was worried I would have a blow-out on the dancefloor or somesuch but the good people at Reactor make a quality product. Someone took a photo of me and boyfriend bee (more on this upgraded title later) in his pvc Hellraiser coat, *drool*, the only problem being we couldn't exactly rub against one another cos we got stuck. But there are worse people to get stuck to ;)

Oh, as soon as I have the photo I'll email it.

So, I think I'm 'having a relationship' with someone. It's been so long that I'm not sure how this whole thing works anymore. But, I think we've crossed a line whereby things have become a little more 'serious' than they maybe were in the beginning. Behold, my evidence:

* I told him I was not interested in having sex with anyone other than him (stemmed from a conversation regarding safe sex... as we are trying to be responsible adults woo)

* We went to Woolworths together and did the "repulsively happy couple being childish together in a supermarket" thing (a true mark of a serious adult relationship if you ask me)

* We went home from Hellfire early as he is more interested in having sex with me than whipping other random chicks

* I slept over at his house two nights in a row... and actually slept. (I find it really hard to share a bed, but he is so slight and quiet and not too hot that we even cuddle in bed. Oh my god.)

* Ummm, just then he called me, saying someone had been banging on his front door and he was ringing "the few people closest to me" to see if they had been trying to get in. For someone who doesn't say anything sentimental it was fairly touching to be included in that category.

Anyway I'll stop boring you all with this rubbish.

Except! 'Boyfriend bee' is both ambiguous and lame. Therefore he will from now on be known as PVC Bee.

Also, I might have fucked him with a strap on glass dildo this morning.

Good times.

I am dating a rules boy

Dear Central Coast Bee,

You are cute, and tall and smell nice. You
pay for things, and call me and appear to listen when I speak.
I am interested.

Perhaps it's because his parents and grandparents raised him to be gentlemanly with good netherlander values, or perhaps it's because I am a hornbag but I enquired with Central Coast Bee if he was going for a 'proper kiss' when he dropped me off from our second date (when we kissed on the cheek).
'A proper kiss, on the second date!?' he repeated incredulously! 'Don't you know the rules of courting?' Oh my god, has anyone seen seven brides for seven brothers??? HAHA you'd have to have seen it to know my joke!
I'm not going to obsess about this because it will drive me nuts!!

They really ARE hot pants!!!

These pants are awesome. I am the proud owner of a pair!
A bit sticky on the dancefloor but what the hell. I am always sticky on the dancefloor anyhow.

Dreambee freaked out on the phone when I told him of my purchase, though more when I told him of my intentions to wear them out in public..... woooo!
Digest of antics coming soon :o)

Thailand Loving

Now firstly let me preface this with the disclaimer, I didn't actually fuck anyone o/s. But fear not, I got some action anyway !

First notable meeting was on our first night out at one of our fave Thai bars, the 5!5 bar, Queensland Bee was quite gentlemanly, we spent all night talking, turned out he was in the same hotel, and when one my travel mates picked up a Thai guy we went round to his bar in Bangla Rd - (now this is about as dodgy as being a pimp in the Cross) we went for a walk, made out on the beautiful beach and came back to the bar to find them absent.
I then freaked out, thinking she was being sold into white slavery and he waited around with me for a while until I got jack of it and went back to the hotel. We said goodnight, he was flying to KL the next day, he took my number and I went back to my room. But my roomie was asleep, ah sweet fate. So I went to his room and knocked, and it was actually a relief because all we did was sleep. He took my number so well see if he calls I guess.

One of the girls down the corridor from us was celebrating her last night, was going to be a quite evening on Bangla rd... then we did JagerBombs (shudder)and we picked up two British boys from Nottingham (I swear most English guys ever lol) and did ALOT of making out at the bar, all very trashy, our travel buddies had said goodnight ages ago and we were both a bit squiffy. I'd said goodnight to Nottingham Bee and he'd given me his email address on a scrap of paper bag. And then we left with the boys, I was a bit confused, we'd said goodnight but then we ended up back in their hotel - in a room they shared... After the hotel staff had rang them three times, then cut their power, then SEARCHED THEIR ROOMS whilst we hid in the shower, we started to making out, he was a fucking great kisser, he went down on me and me on him, he came - but apparently 'brits don't wear johnnys' meaning they didn't have any condoms combined with the notion that a couple were going at it in a bed I could reach out and touch got to be all too much, so she and I left a bit annoyed... but hey I got his email address so I can try again?

We were all so majorly hung over that we did nothing all the next day.
Last but not least was Police Bee... HAHAHA, yes this means he's a police officer, who get this offered to bring his hand cuffs home 'if I wanted' haha yeah hell yeah!! - I don't care if it was an empty promise but REAL police cuffs is hot.We met up with one of my travel buddies mutual acquaintances, all police officers, I was wearing a low cut dress (is there any other kind?) and he was looking at my cleavage all night.
We all ate dinner, went to a GoGo show (think ping pongs and like) and got a little trashed at a bar, then two of us paired up and walked the one with the boyfriend home and went skinny dipping. They had an amazing hotel pool, unfortunately surrounded by rooms but I don't think anyone was watching at three in the morning. I had my period by this time, so refused anything happening but I got him off, he came in my mouth which I surreptitiously spat out in the pool and then we repeated this format mostly the following evening.He seemed nice enough, so I dropped the hint to my mate I'd like to get his number so well see how we go...
You know come to think of it, each time I met a guy I did anything decent with I was wearing that dress. HMM, I might be onto something here. Plus before I went away, at my Vile School Reunion I met Central Coast Bee, who I still have to call upon my return, so my drought is hopefully set to break!
Go Thailand!! Sawasdee!!