Others suffer too...

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/511664762.html

OK, I just feel like this was the right place to share this one. Poor gal!

Beezout!

I forgot to say...

***READ POST BELOW FIRST***
I forgot to say in previous post, as I said, I felt sorry for the poor bugger, so of course we make up for it last night.
So he's going down on me, which was GREAT, and I'm giving him some hand relief, (okI was being a bitch and didn't feel like blowing him at the same time) and he motions me to stop, cos he's getting close and everything.
Well I was getting close too, so I stop briefly, but continue, because if I don't feel like sucking him off while I'm getting it, I will feel even less like it when I've come already. And I get really annoyed if I feel like that's what he's going to want and that's why he's saying stop.
Ok so I'm coming, and then he's coming, and we're in this awkward position but I was fairly confident that all the cum is going on my boob, and yes, that's where the majority of it ended up, but it also ended up all over the bedsheets, having sort of dripped down. Ew!
LOL Right next to my head, and my pillow. Gross.
It was funny though. And even the bit that was on my boob, felt a bit porn-star. Hahaha

elaborate plan

Hub-bee and I are occassionally giant nanna's. This doesn't involve huge white cotton underpants and water glasses with dentures, but for example Sunday night just past, we were in bed at the super early hour of 9pm. We actually went to bed at 8.50, and I for one, revelled in the wonderful knowledge we would wake refreshed and feeling good. I personally ended up getting a full ten hours of sleep, it was fantastic.

The next day at work, Hub-bee reveals to me that he actually had a grand plan for the previous evening. See I'd been quite vocal in the fact that I didn't feel we'd gotten enough sleep, and I was really tired and looking forward to an early night. So he didn't like his sexy-time chances at the start of bedtime, he had a good feeling he would be rebuffed if he made a move (which was true).
So he had a really big glass of water right before he got into bed, thinking that his bladder would wake him in the middle of the night, and he could go for the midnight tap.

This venture is not without risk however, if he goes in too early, and I haven't rested enough, I will still likely rebuff him. Even though I do quite like sex in the middle of the night when you don't really talk and its all groping and groggy arousal. Alternatively, if he goes too late, I will also be annoyed if I can't get back to sleep.
So Sunday night there was a golden 4 hour window where he would be sweet. (most nights the window is only an hour, two max)

Unfortunately his bladder foiled him, and he didn't wake up. LOL

I felt sorry for the poor bugger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quick question for partnered ladies {sorry Dating-Agent :( }
How many times do you reckon you do it in a month,ie in a 30 day time frame?
I reckon we do it about 8-10 times a month.
[sometimes we'll do it almost every day for a week, but there's at least one week in a month where we don't do it at all, and one week where I've "got the painters in", leaving one week when we'll do it sporadically]
What about you guys?

"CALL ME"

Call me (call me) on the line
Call me, call me any, anytime
Call me
(call me) oh love
When you're ready we can share the wine
Call me
- Blondie 'Call Me'

Well what an fucking uninspiring event.
As we know I went out with Mr. Huge on Saturday night, after a nearly normal date, movie, dinner we then got coffee and a drink - four dates in one?
I think I was cock drunk until Tuesday when he didn't reply to my text message I stopped and read all the markers on the road I'd left my blinkers on to ignore.
Let's review;
The date cramming was strange but I guess you never know what someone new is like, right?
He'd initially proffered me a safe journey home but instead traded it for 'stay at my house & go in the morning'
After said night over, he dropped me off saying 'you have my number'
Possibly the nail in the proverbial coffin but still I was naive enough to hope for the best of someone I have already been issued with command to expect the worst from.

Hense forth self imposed embargo on intimacy has been placed... well lets see

WTF?

Ummm......would you trust this to prevent unwanted little people?
Creepy!
Is it just me or does the US seem to have some really weird contraception?

this that and the other

I finally got to wear my Anniversary undies! Woo!
Only two months over due. BUT I might say, as a married lady, it is handy to have a set of sexy undies not previously seen before when you're feeling a bit randy and your Hub-bee asks for an impromptu strip show.
Not feeling super confident in the strip show idea to begin with, at least I was able to reveal something a little bit special to distract in case my performance was less than stellar.

I might add, I had a wax yesterday (coincidence) and I would NOT advise having sexy time on the same day! Pain! Sort of horrid red raw rash thing on one side. You also shouldn't sweat just after a wax as sweat can get into your pores while they're still open and makes pimpley things. Ew.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I actually thought I was going to have the worst NYE ever this year. We committed early on to going to a house party being held by Tall-Hunky-Groomsman-Bee's Fiancee (get that?) and we discovered on the day of the party that we would be one of about 6 couples in attendance. Hmmm.....

One of said couples, when they drink, are torturously irritating.
THREE of said six couples are part of the "footy crowd" and when we got married we made a hard decision not to invite them to the wedding (remember those couples?) and as such they have never forgiven us, extremely immature of them, and when in mixed company they have generally ignored us (noticeably).

Awkward!

We spent all day trying to figure out how to avoid the party or make excuses to leave.
Ideas included "Agent X pretends to pass out at 7pm and has to be taken home"
"ring before we go and say Agent X went too hard too early and has already passed out(at 5pm)"
"feign some sort of food poisoning after eating something"
"pretend we have another engagement that we've only just discovered"
"plead family commitments" (Mother-in-law actually suggested this one and said she would back us up if questioned)

Hub-bee wouldn't be put off though, feeling we really DID need to go and make the best of it. So I fortified myself with three bottles of champagne (I don't know who I was kidding with the third) and prepared myself to drink until the people became interesting.

In the end, thankfully, another couple we are friends with were there to chat with. One of the three unpleasant couples, the worst of them, did a no-show (wonder if we influenced that?) and the other two may have adopted my idea as we were all wonderfully soused. Midnight brought cheers, air kisses and a dip in the pool. A dip where myself and two other girls started taking our tops off to compare boobs then everyone taking our bottoms off for the hell of it.

I'm actually wondering now if any of the not so drunk people are remarking at how badly I acted...being quick to disapprove of anyone....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We also had a little preggy scare. They're rare when you're on the pill, but I have discovered, not impossible. We almost thought about being parents.

Un-friken-believable

So I went out with NYE Bee on Saturday night, and with no intention of doing so I ended up staying the evening.
We went to a movie, had dinner, had a coffee, had a drink... it was like speed dating the same person.
Now NYE Bee is a big strapping man type person, six foot four, arms like tree trunks the whole bit, you know what they say about big feet... big shoes?
Turns out NYE Bee has a MASSIVE wang, I did not my any mesure expect it to be small but couldn't quite believe (my luck? haha) my eyes.

This post may actually be an additional to the previous post, as when I was giving him a blow/hand job and he came, it was like a bad porno the actual volume of liquid - I was glad I didn't need to swallow!

Maybe why it's called a Blow Job?

Couldn't wait to blog about this one..

Don't know what kind of spit/swallow ratio we have in the Hive here, but I'm a bit of a swallow sort of a gal - more for completion's sake rather than it being my favourite flavour, but moving on. I was curious to know if this has happened to anyone else, or only me?

One morning, I was pottering about after my shower on the computer (blah!) and DreamBee wanders out with a massive hard-on. After a little bit of fun out in the living room in front of the window (and checking the webcam was off...) we moved into the bedroom where I continued my oral artistry with less neck crampage.

Moving onto the 'climax' of the story (come on, puns are cool, you know they are) and the funny part. DreamBee is kind of generously endowed, and my throat is kind of small, usually compensated for by movement or lips or whatever, but by one way or another I can generally breathe as well as execute an exquisite fellationic manouver. Not on this occasion. This time I managed to set off the old gag reflex at the same time as DreamBee came, and I suddenly realised that given I couldn't breathe, I couldn't swallow either. I also realised that there was more on its way as well. I'm sure my eyes would have bulged comically a moment before I gagged, then BLAM! Manjuice exploded everywhere, although by some miracle we managed to avoid getting it all over the sheets, it mainly staying all over him and a lot on me and in my hair. Even funnier was I spent the rest of the day feeling half drowned from the effort! What a spectacular embarrassment!!
But anyway, ROFL LMAO. And, eeewww!!

Beezout!

My Somewhat Horrendous NYE

Well, I've had a lot of underwhelming and emotionally draining New Year's - and last night was no exception. Explaining the context of the whole thing is going to be tricky, so I have decided to present in play format:

"Oh, What a (Crappy) Night"
Cast of Characters:

BillyLou
PVC
Ms Cheeky (friend of BL)
Ms Purple Cats (friend of BL)
Ms Gender Studies (friend of PVC)
Ms Gender Studies' Boyfriend (friend of PVC)
PVC's X (who is quite lovely, and hangs out with us sometimes even tho that's a bit weird)
PVC's X's X (the ex boyfriend of PVC's ex girlfriend)
Ms Random Slut Bag (Who No One Invited Anyway)
Weird Boyfriend of Random Slut Bag
Weird Ex Boyfriend of Random Slut Bag

Setting:
Glebe Park

Scene 1:
After spending a nice afternoon in park getting slowly drunker, everyone gets their glow sticks, light sabres and plastic bottles of vodka ready for countdown. When it gets to midnight, fireworks are watched, vodka is skulled and BillyLou is grabbed by PVC and snogged violently. BillyLou's friends and PVC's friends have merged nicely and everyone is getting along. Only Ms Purple Cats is upset, because her boyfriend disappeared at midnight to go and talk to this girl who he is "only friends" with, leaving Purple Cats alone and annoyed. This sets the general tone of upset-ness that will continue through the rest of the evening.

BillyLou's friends have a scheduled 'chillax' party to go to at Ms Cheeky's house in Glebe. PVC's friends are kicking on in park, so we must say goodbye to them before we leave. PVC is saying extended goodbye to Gender Studies' Boyfriend, while I chat awkwardly with the outrageously drunk Gender Studies.

Gender Studies: "Have a really, really good 2008. I mean, I really, really mean it. Have a really, really, really good new year." (Gender Studies is embracing BL intimately.)

BillyLou: "Um, thanks! You too."

Gender Studies: "No, I really mean it. I want you to have a wonderful 2008."

BL: "Um, cool! Thanks again!"

Gender Studies: "I'm so drunk. We should kiss."

PVC: (Noticing the clinch) "Yeah, you guys should totally kiss."

BL: "Um... isn't that your boyfri...." Gender Studies pounces upon BL and kisses her smack on the lips. BL feels very awkward. Gender Studies is not unattractive, but her boyfriend is standing right there, and doesn't look quite so enthused as PVC does. Finally, BL wriggles out of kiss, and makes lame awkward jokey chit chat.

BL: (to PVC) "Um, honey, isn't it time we were heading off?"

PVC: "Oh, no. There's no hurry." BL notices that all of PVC's friends are now staring at BL and Gender Studies.

Gender Studies: (advancing towards BL again) "Have a really, really great..."

BL: (to PVC) "Honey! I think we really should go now. It's getting late!"

PVC: (reluctantly) "Oh, I guess so." PVC finally bids goodbye to Gender Studies' somewhat sour-looking Boyfriend, and finally we are able to walk away. Last I saw of Gender Studies she was walking woozily towards another lone female in the group, arms outstretched.


Scene 2:
Everyone is on a beanbag or futon at Cheeky's house in Glebe. All the ingredients are there for good time, but as mentioned that vibe of tension still prevails. Does not help that these weird random guests have seemingly invited themselves. Random guests include Random Slut Bag and her entourage of weird boyfriends and ex boyfriends. Random Slut Bag is really annoying. She has colourful hair and hippy clothing, but is one of those people who is trying really hard to be alternative to disguise the fact she has no personality, other than annoying. She keeps diverting the conversation (loudly) back to herself, inflicting us with stories about her depression, her (numerous) suicide attempts, her alcoholism, her restrictive Catholic upbringing, her violent fits of rage and her nymphomania. She flounces around room and bats her overly glittery eyes at any one who is male. At one point she makes out with her ex-boyfriend, while her current boyfriend sat at the other end of the room and looked morose. She keeps trying to flirt with and install herself next to PVC, which everyone else is trying really hard to prevent.

At this point, Purple Cats gets into a shit with everyone and pretty much storms off. Just as Purple Cats is leaving, PVC's X's X walks into the room. PVC's X's X sees PVC's X and plonks himself opposite her, so her can make her uncomfortable all night. PVC is livid, as PVC strongly dislikes his X's X, and thinks he should leave immediately. PVC's X assures him that she is ok, and everyone in the room looks on as the awkwardness unfolds. Even Random Slut Bag is momentarily quiet.

Finally, PVC's X's X seems to get the hint that he is not welcome, and after what feels like hours he finally leaves. Everyone is starting to settle down, and there is still a glimmer of hope that good times could potentially be had.

Having drunk about 80 litres of water to compensate for the zillion drinks she has consumed, BillyLou decides to get up and venture downstairs to the toilet, leaving PVC unsupervised on futon.

You can probably see where this is going, but anyway...

When BillyLou returns she finds Random Slut Bag draped all over PVC. They are not kissing or anything, but Slut Bag gives BillyLou the most victorious look of spiteful glee (BillyLou has not been overly polite to Slut Bag during the night) that BillyLou wants to kick her several times in the head. BillyLou resists urge to make giant scene (she is pretty shocked, actually) so she decides to go outside into the fresh air.

BillyLou goes for walk. Cheeky follows after her, and is supportive while BillyLou has small tantrum about how much of a stupid whore Slut Bag is.

When BillyLou returns she finds PVC is looking for her. PVC is apologetic. Is it lovely, and despite Slut Bag's energetic attempts, relationship between PVC and BL comes out stronger. PVC cheers BL up by wearing knitted hat with pom poms and singing to her.

PVC drives his X home (I really quite like his X, so this is ok) and then PVC and BL crash at his place at about 4am.

The End.

Postscript: BL and PVC have beautiful sex several times on New Year's Day. Awesome.

Long Time No Bees

Hi guys!

Wow I've missed so much bee action! You have been buzzing like crazy here. I couldn't even check Bees while I was away cos I was using PVC's laptop and didn't want to leave anything incriminating in the internet history.

Agent Y: Very sorry to hear about the cockhead. And also sorry to hear about the freaky coincidence with sushi sister of China Bee. Freaky! Thought I was the only one who had unbearably awkward coincidental experiences!

Agent X: Speaking of coincidences - OMG! Bungalo 8 Bee!!! Wow, how bizarre! And I love the line about standing in the corner but looking hot. Go you lol.

Agent V: Ahahaha crack wax. Awesome. I've never been brave enought to get my vagina (lol) professionally waxed. I mean, I have a genital piercing, but even that was easier than getting it all off for a waxer. Not sure why, but that terrifies me. I just shave it. Piece of trivia: PVC shaves himself too. I watched him do it the other day - fascinating! He has to stretch his bits out to access it properly. Kind of hilarious.

As you know, I've been living it up in NYC, and I've had a blast. Lots of sexy sex, omg so much. One day we had sex in the morning, and then when we got back we had sex three more times.

Also had awesome adventures in all the sex shops over there. PVC and I bought matching rubber underpants, so we can be stylish next time we take our clothes off at a fetish event. And I got a new (purple) corset, for the bargain price of US $50!! PVC took some lovely photos of me in it (and the underpants)... it even gives me cleavage! Cleavage, people!!

Also, I think I might be working at the sex shop in Newtown after all. They ditched me initially because they hired someone who could start sooner, but that girl is now talking about moving to Byron Bay. So I start in January! Yaaay!!!

See you all soon, except Agent V - bummer we didn't quite make it with the meet up! But hopefully see you again not too distant future.

Bees out.

Crack Wax

Hi all,

Has anyone had a brazilian? I have not, but I feel a little like I may as well have. Really, all I am short of one is a couple of labia and a teepee at the top.

Just had a 'bikini' wax from an no-nonsense big momma named Keisha. (Lovely, but also a bit scary)

She was almost shocked when I was slightly confused - "What, remove my undies too? Everything? I..I just want the bikini..." then she just went with the 'mnnmm-hmmm' approach and off they went.

Legs went flying, initially I was going for a timid trim, apparently this isn't the go. Typically, it would be 'hold your leg there'...'no, there' (I put leg up off to my right a bit, and up a bit, she re-positions so my leg is up near my shoulder somewhere, somewhere at the extreme of my flexibility) Repeat.

As I was there in the chair with my both ankles held above my head and stretching my tummy up for all I was worth, I couldn't help but feel the situation was a little weird, but I didn't wail when next she put hot wax on my intimates and then ripped the hair out, either. Go me! At least she was nice and quick about it.
As I was give leave to get dressed again she patted me on tha arm and said that it's the best way, only doing the outlines leaves 'all that' down there and that's just not nice. he he. I kind of agree with, but still. Aii!

I think the exposure factor here was actually worse than having your vagina examined for whatever reason - last sexual health clinic I went to they were like 'oh, this guys new, do you mind if he does your tests and I supervise' so there's 3 people peering up your clacker. At least they give you a piece of paper towel to put down when they wander off so you can pretend you've got a skirt on or something. Here I was nude from the waist with legs akimbo and NAKED VAGINA pointed at the door.(closed) {OK, probable excessive use of word vagina there, but it gets addictive.}

Ah the indignity of it all! Beats trying to wax yourself though. (Highly unrecommended)

PS. ...Vagina

*GRUFF*

** WARNING! MAJOR RANT, ADULT THEMES AND OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE AHEAD**

It's times like this you need minties, or perspective or some shit... please send all minties c/o IATEYOURBEES.

Prologue;
Apprently I've missed informing you of a new Bee in the picture, it didn't really warrant earlier mentioning but had a brief conversation with Canadian Bee-eater and we decided that during singledom one takes the oppertunity.

Chapter one; The Party
A few weeks before I went off to Melbourne I went up the Central Coast for my friends partners 30th. During which time I met Brother In Law Bee. Brother in Law Bee is brother to my mates partner. Right got it.
He was alright looking... good arms... good smell. Someone at the party got wind I fancied him and then we were prompted into a walk and conversation, during which time myself (who was TOTALLY SQUIFFY) and Brother in Law Bee pashed, had a grope and went back home, drank more with the boys - INSERT ME BEING CAN ON GIRL - and then passed out.
The following day involved very little, except sleeping and cuddling on bed.

Chapter two; The follow up
We didn't exchange numbers after the party, I knew he lived in the central coast - remember we've been here before? - so it was all a bit silly, but nice to giggle with my girlfriend about being sister in laws *chuckle*
So BILB (haha BILB is good) askes my mate for my number, and a swarth of text messages and phone calls which Telstra obviously by now recognises as me having a bit of crumpet again.
So pre Melbourne I trek up early to Central Coast to loaf about up there, see BILB and start holiday wind down.
My temporary tag of BLIBS MRS (haha morons) I got an invite to a house warming party after which I told BILB we couldn't ever have anything that friendly cuddles because I did not want things to be weird when I visited incase something went weird... sure I understand is the reply.

Chapter Three; the fuck up.
Mate rings me and askes, 'Did you sleep with BILB?' -- NO I did not, well apprently BILB has told some thing named Ryan we had.
Its now times like there where I start batting for the all men are lying bastards, it's encoded in the Y strain of DNA and they should be jettisoned into space.
Just after I've been so good and optimistic!

THIS REALLY PISSES ME OFF! Because I don't want to get all whingy to my friend because this is what I wanted to avoid in the fucking first place!
And I can't give him attitude like I want to because I want to seem all better than him and not petty but I want to suffocate him truth be told!
So now if I see him Im going to take the disappointed and wronged woman act, tell anyone who asks if we slept together to fuck off and mind thier own businss and remember not to shit where you go for long weekends either.

What are the f**in chances......pretty bloody good actually

Let's take a journey together, you and I.

A little over three years ago, I met my Hub-bee at a wedding. We hit it off, but he was keen not to commit as he was going around Australia for six weeks. I wasn't neccessarily all that keen to commit either, I was "having a blast" as it were.
So we kicked around together for four weeks or so, he took me all sorts of places out with his friends and such like. We went to Manly, we went to house parties, and we went to Randwick for Melbourne Cup day.

We had a great day mostly, I'd never been to the races before, and what better way to be introduced than Melbourne Cup!
As you do, we got wasted, or fairly drunk I should say, and kicked on afterward in the city. One of the guys Hub-bee works with was with us (it was mostly his Uni friends in the group) and he said he knew someone at Bungalow 8 that could get us in and possibly even had a corporate card for drinks!!
So we head over there, it was maybe 8pm and I was a *leetle* drunk. Hehehe
So there was quite a large group of them, and we got introduced around, as you do. I did some dancing, and met some people. When it came time to leave, I'd actually had such a good time, I had given my number to two guys, being the little hussy I was at the time, including one of which who worked with one of our group.

So Hub-bee goes away, and I go to visit Agent billylou when she was still working in Parramatta. I was feeling a little amorous shall we say, and when one of the aforementioned gents calls me, and offers to come all the way to Parramatta I took him up on the offer. Needless to say, there was some action, and I will point out THAT IT WAS PATHETIC, and a waste of my time.

So after this incident, I vowed to not bother with him again and started ignoring his calls and his texts.
Hub-bee came back from his trip, and the very night he came home we agreed to be exclusive and as they say, the rest is history.

Almost.

So this random (annoyingly with the same first name as Hub-bee) he started booty calling me at like 2am in the morning when he was out. I would wake up and throw the phone across the room. Or I would wake in the morning and there would be numerous missed calls.

After months of ignoring him, at this stage Hub-bee knew about it, (I'd come clean about the whole incident) and we were together one night and he called, waking the two of us. We turned my phone off, but Hub-bee was so annoyed it had gotten to this ridiculous stage, that he rang the number back {you know how you keep the Contact in your phone so you don't get caught out by not ignoring the call?} and without saying who he was, told the guy not to bother ringing the number anymore {of course he denied the whole thing, pretending he'd never called at 2am}.
We never heard from again.

FAST FORWARD

l
l
l
l
l
--------------------------------------------------------->

Hub-bee's Christmas party this weekend just passed.
THERE IS THE GUY in the pub at the pre-drinks. Co-incidentally, the same pub as 3 years ago.

Turns out, he works for the same company as Hub-bee! Always did. Not just an acquaintance of Hub-bee's friend, but works for the same company. We spent all night seeing him in the party, and I'm almost certain he must have known who we were.
SO AWKWARD! Hub-bee had to chat to him! I was dying of shame in the corner (looking hot).

Tell me, bad or what!

Social Spying Utlity

Usually I'd try to get all introspective on this... but I can't really be arsed at the moment.

I love Facebook, it's interesting to find out that you know someone that someone else knows too.
China Bee AKA Good Kisser Bee is Facebook friends with a girl I went to high school with who was now in Ireland.
Naturally I enquired with China Bee how he knew her, and he said they'd met when he was working at Wenty Leagues.
This satisfied my interests, she was a nice enough girl, a little weird and defiantly not in the cool group at school but that was all I needed to know.
As if by some sort of out of worldly coincidence I run into Irish Girl at Valleygirl. Of course the first thing that wants to escape my lips is to ask how she knows China Bee but I fight the good fight and persist with the meaningless small talk for a good four minuets before attacking. Turns out she and China Bee 'hooked up' last year.
NOW THE ONLY IMAGE I HAVE IN MY HEAD IS OF THEM SHAGGING WHILE WERE MAKING CHIT CHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO'VE GOTTEN KNOCKED UP SINCE SCHOOL!
At first the image was sort of her head on my body, non imaginative sort of way and then all of a sudden I have to look away from her as she speaks because its like ammunition for the porno which is rendering itself in my brain! ARGH
They say when you sleep with someone you have sex with everyone they have had sex with... well I wasn't prepared for one of them to have been someone I wasn't particularly fussed with six years ago.
And now I still have the image in my head.
Geez.

Hear hear with the sleepiness! I have been guilty of this on more occasions than I care to own up to. It also reminded me of a topic I need some advice on! That is, how to recover when you go out on a sexy-limb and embarrass yourself...

Scenario, away on lurvly although freezing weekend away, but guilty of the tourist trap of running about all day trying to squeeze in as many attractions and museums as possible, and of course experience all the attendant fun. We return back to our hotel pad, with our awesomely comfy and large bed, and even a strategically placed large mirror at the foot of the bed. Tired after the long day, I decide that nonetheless, its a holiday dammit and that calls for some hot holiday sex. I sneak off to outfit myself in lacy red with suspenders and stockings and head out of the bathroom feeling damn sexy, and consequently pretty horny too. After a bit of a ta-da! I'm sexy now! entrance, I climb atop the bed only to be greeted by a Half Asleep-Bee and very tired set of eyes looking well, scared to death. I attempt a little playful encouragement only to be met by an apology about being too tired etc etc and much embarrassment for all. I of course run away back to change out of my outfit thoroughly disappointed and throw some PJs on and sneak back to bed for some ..ugghhh...sleep.

This was a little while ago so I can't remember much after that except the rest of the weekend away was a success and much fun was had. The problem now is that I'm a bit too freaked out to go there again and looking at my sexy undies now makes me remember the time and I'm not really up for even making the first move anymore:( So no adventure for me! We've done the sexy undies thing since then, which I am still a big fan of, I just don't trust my judgement unless its REALLY obvious now.....thoughts?

Anniversary lovin

So had very romantic anniversary weekend away. We went to the Hunter Valley and HubBee had organised champagne in the room when we arrived, it looked gorgeous!
So we proceeded to open the champagne, get tipsy and have fun drunken hotel room shag.

Saturday shamefully I got too pissed for bedroom action which was a decided shame as I'd bought new set of sexy knickers in a pinky-red fishnet style and was organised to slip into said knickers when we got back from dinner.

As we were in the Hunter, we spent all day tasting, and then when we finished with that we had a quick dip in the pool and spa (spa was disgusting and I can imagine if we'd tried to have spa-action I would have contracted all manner of disgustingness)
Then we went to the hotel bar for a pre-dinner cocktail and play a little pool, and I ordered a huge pink extremely toxic cocktail, with something like 5 shots in it (not realising of course, I thought it would be normal sized).

We played pool, went out to dinner and proceeded to drink another few glasses of wine, so much so that I almost fell asleep half way through the main course.
Needless to say I was beyond drowsy when we got back, and said knickers went back into the bag, I am determined to wear them again and surprise him though. Hopefully this week.

So Sunday morning (actual anniversary) couldn't go past the morning sexy-sex, which was great, and we discovered why the bed was so high off the floor (it really was crazy-high). hehehe.
Good weekend, grotesque happiness at love of HubBee, a year on.
:)

RUDE!!!!

And yet strangely arousing. I'm sure it's wrong to be aroused by Shrek...

Hypnosis

This is going to sound a little weird. But, ok.

You see, PVC has been learning how to hypnotise people. He's been downloading pirated hypnosis lessons and learning - it has been an interest of his for a while. At first I was pretty skeptical (particularly of anything ripped off the internet) but the first time he tried it on me it actually worked. It's like being extraordinarily relaxed, like just before you go to sleep. The theory is that the person hypnotising you can speak directly to your subconscious without your consciousness getting in the way. (He also has a kick arse massage chair, which helps. The technique he's using to hypnotise me is just speech - using words to relax you and lull you into a sort of trance. Amazing how simple it is... truly weird).

So. We'd done a couple of sessions, one of which focused on building my confidence, which I reckon actually worked. Like, visualisation type stuff - 'visualise your confidence as a colour blah blah'. And it leaves you feeling really relaxed with a clear head afterwards, which is also really good when you're stuck in Crazy Thesis World.

The third time he hypnotised me, he didn't tell me what we were doing, but he said I was going to like it.

He did the basic thing, and I got trancy and relaxed, like normal. Then, he did a similar sort of visualisation exercise as 'confidence', but, er, 'sexual energy'. It's a bit hard to describe, and particularly hard because I was the one being hypnotised, but it was like this buzzing feeling, like my skin was tingling all over. So as he kept talking (pretty simple and not particularly sexual words) this feeling just got stronger, like turning the dial from sensual to sexual, really intense. It was crazy, and I knew it was crazy, but it felt amazing! It got to the point where I felt like I was going to come (and I was still sitting relatively still in the chair, he wasn't touching me or anything), until, oh my god, I did come. Like, whole body orgasm. And that wasn't it! Then he just kept talking, and telling me that I was going to come on his command, and I freaking did. Like, he would tell me, and there was nothing I could do but obey. At least five times.

It was just this beautiful pure feeling, like sexuality undiluted by problems like body anxiety or feeling silly or worrying about the other person. Just total bliss. Absolutely incredible.

And the best thing was that when he brought me back I was unbelievably turned on. Like every single part of my skin was a sexual receptor. So we had sex in the massage chair, and again in his bed - and the physical intensity coupled with the fact that I'm off-my-face in love with this person, well it pretty much blew my mind. One of those 'I could die right now and I'd be ok with that' sort of nights.

I think I should marry this person.

Also, I might be going to New York with him for a week in December. His work is sending him and he asked if I wanted to come along. And I think, since I have nothing better to do, that I just might take him up on the offer.

...wait a second. I AM dead, aren't I? My head exploded sometime last week from over-exertion from Thesis Hell, right? You guys are just too polite to break it to me! But, if hell is this good, well I'm not complaining.

Me and PVC

Oh, guys.

Went over to see PVC last night. Met up with him at a party with some of his old work friends, and ended up just talking to him while everyone else watched the rugby. Without it being some big serious conversation I mentioned to him how confused I was feeling about my life. We decided to talk about it back at his place (after racing each other back to Stanmore... he won).

When I got there PVC had decided to start chiseling the mouldy paint off the wall in the bathroom. (I have complained about the bathroom so many times that he cleaned the floor with disinfectant and now he's de-mouldifying the wall. I'm so touched!). Anyway I watched him scrape the wall for a really long time and then we had a shower and went to bed. We had sex, it was nice, (no orgasms on my part but I was pretty much too tired to care), and we started to go to sleep.

Then, halfway between sleep, somehow we started fucking again. It was this surreal, beautiful, incredible thing, you know sex that just happens, that you don't have to think about, and there was colour and warmth and it was like the walls were melting and there was nothing between us and the sky.

(I'm claiming my right to artistic licence here, ok?)

So I came about a million times and then when I was done I went down and blew him until he came for the 2nd time that night.

Then we were just lying there, off our faces with endorphins. We turned our faces to look at each other and he said "I love you." I said "I love you, too."

We talked until the sun came up, and finally got about 2 hours sleep in the morning.

When we woke up we just looked at each other and knew that everything was different. In a good way. He said "I had the best dream!"

Then we went to Ikea so he could buy things to make his house less like a hovel.

I feels, in this stupid cliched way, like my life is just starting.

Ahh!

Also, happy birthday Agent X! Woot!

Marry me

for better > for worse
for richer > for poorer
in sickness > and in health.

The part about the sickness however sort of hinders the sexy sex.
As you all know, I have been horribly coughing for the last three weeks, which severly restricted bedtime action. We did it early on (in the lurge), and while it was good, I hacked all the way through it, then I got sicker and sicker and it just wasn't happening.

This week I've pretty much gotten over it all (yay!) and its been a small sex fest. Sex fest; for us, small; because its only a few times. LOL.
We had a great session Wednesday afternoon, Hub-bee walked in from work and it was ON. Hot. Hehehe.
Then again this morning, which was great, half awake action I reckon is fantastic. Hub-bee is going to Christian Music Festival (yes I know, Ew) all Long Weekend, which is when we usually have lots of action. We're such classic living-together couple. Too tired mostly, but on Long Weekends we'll frequently do it everyday, if not twice a day! So this morning was mostly to make up for the lack of weekend-time together, we had snuggles and sex, all in twenty-five minutes.

So, Fear not ladies!!! Yes the married crone is still getting action. There was just a small detour into- Infection-ville which prevented the Pork Sausage Picnic.