Pussy ring?

This is a ring.

Made of sterling silver.

For your finger.

With a pussy on it.

True story.

Want one?

Pussy rings

Check it out!

These shoes were on sale for $25! From a normal old shoe shop near my work. How awesome are they!

Just wanted to show off.

Balcony lovin' ~~~

Ooh we had hot balcony lovin last night, finally!

And I think there were people on the balcony next door after we'd finished! Maybe they came out to listen to us. (couldn't see anything)

Totally hot though, and made absolutely no effort to be quiet which was great! LOL.

After I came in spectacular fashion, gave Bee (can anyone suggest good name for my Bee?) great blow job using my boobs, which he appreciated. I then had to run all the way to the kitchen however to spit yuckness out, as if I don't take it lying on my back I can't manage to swallow the stuff. Yum.

Lewd Lesbian Lovin'

I think the title pretty much sums it up.

After all my complaining, I finally got laid. I didn't think it would be with a chick but hey. It was quality!

My weekend of course started with Hellfire. I thought it would be difficult to get my tits for all the world to see (for benefit of Agent V - I went with these black and red felt stars glued over my nipples. Can send pics if people are curious. I considered it a good look. Tasteful, y'know.) but no. I nearly left the house without my coat!!

Our night included podium dancing with leather-clad men, general dancing (more fun with boobs out I tell you), me getting tied to a frame and whipped but guy wearing leather skirt that featured his bum hanging out of (bum hanging guy was total freak but good whipper) and me falling instantly in love with this beautiful guy with long black hair and a real flair with a crop. I managed to catch his eye and we smiled (I believe we shared a 'moment') but unfortunately he was with a bunch of people who left fairly early. He also appeared to be with some chick (very hot and amazing boobs dammit) so bah. Anyway, I got out of my shell and met new people and was merry and such, it was great. And great cos I trust my Girlfriend Bee and she looks after me in these situations - makes sure no one takes advantage of me (in a bad way). Will have to get my boobs out more often methinks!

We were too tired for lovin that night but the following afternoon we had some time to kill so Girlfriend Bee hogtied me. Which led to her touching me up. Which led to her going down on me and me coming my brains out. (Yes, I have gone for the classier spelling there. We are, after all, classy ladies). Then she rolled me over and sat on my face. Also fun ;)

Then, birthday celebrations. Sorry could not talk about this at said birthday celebrations but was a bit difficult to gloat considering Girlfriend Bee was there. ("Heeeeey! Guess who scored!!") Had piles of fun dancing like maniac and talking to Long Hair Bee #2. Who is this guy and why have I not been informed there is a pretty/weird-in-a-kinda-endearing-way guy wandering around with lovely long hair? Hmm??

Went home, again too tired for naughtiness. But next day had awesome giant breakfast at Westfield (the scenic tour of Sydney) and then checked out the local sex shop I had always been curious about. Girlfriend Bee bought two (count them) strap-ons. And can you believe I was still so naive at this point I didn't think she'd be using them on me??

Flatmate Bee goes out for the day. Girlfriend Bee and I again have time to kill. So she ties me up again but this time does me from behind with a strap on. (And her 'cock' was on the larger side! I am still sore!!) We also tried missionary, which was also very, very hot. Then she put it on me so she could ride me (me on my back). I can appreciate now how awesome a position that is for a guy - just lie back and enjoy the sex - no wonder so many of my lazy ex-boyfriends kept insisting on that one.

This went on for a couple of hours.

I drove her to the airport that night and we kissed goodbye - right there at the car drop off point in front of everyone. People stared. It was funny.

So, in conclusion, for someone who defines herself as 'straight' I appear to have had sex with women more times now than is purely accidental or experimental. I guess I'd say I'm about 20% bi. But ultimately still like boys, don't know why but they spin my wheels even though they're mostly all crap. Especially if they have long hair...

Incidentally, for anyone who has been following my Myspace Bee saga - I now have a satisfactory answer as to why we can't meet. We spoke online last night and basically it comes down to a long dark drug past which he is still getting over and doesn't want to expose me to. Which is very considerate of him. (Men - I sure know how to pick 'em, eh?) It's a real shame cos I really like him. But perhaps am only intrigued by the mystery of it all. That and he is a millionaire who owns four cars including a Porche. (!!!)

Anyway, I'm happy. And shagged. And a lesbian, aparently. Thought I'd share :)

Dirtyspoke

*fanning self* I implore you to read this blog Dirtyspoke.

*****Warning!!!*****

Not for the faint hearted, and don't do what I did and read it at work! Makes for uncomfortable squirming and fast window closing. LOL

Valentines

Card. Expensive Lingerie. Dinner. Wine. Champagne.

Nice Restaurant. Holding hands. Chocolate. Sex.

What's missing!? Could it be the orgasm? Could it? Could it????? I, I, I think it is!!!

Holy macaroni! I know the cardinal rule is not to mention dissatisfaction whilst you're still actually IN bed, but the point is, if I've actually pointed it out, I want the situation fixed! Pah. Can't remember after that. Must have fallen asleep. Much frustration. I guess thats why everyone hates Valentines day!! Mine was moments away from being 100% perfect! And instead I am super grumpy-girl today. I woke up and DreamBee looks at me and says - are you still mad at me? With puppy dog eyes. The problem is I'm not mad, I'm..? I don't know! But it ain't good. Grumble. Big grumble.

In other news, how was the warming?

x Agent Vee for Valentines' Vipes

PS I forgot to mention that the good morning blow-job means that he came twice in one day whilst I am still out of commission. Perhaps that is adding to my grumbles? I think Yes.

LMAO

Of all the gin joints

Space is big, really big and like other large empty spaces it collects a bit of rubbish, space junk from various Apollo missions and land fill jettisoned into space.
Like outer space, cyber space is infinitely huge. You can do everything online, buy clothes, shoes, the Hollywood sign, food, talk to people from the other side of the world and date people without bellowing over pub music. But it’s also when I discovered the cyber space dating junk!
Deciding to consider a sortie into internet dating wasn’t that hard, without having to join up I could go window shopping for potentials all while sitting in my pj’s!
Then I saw them. Not one skeleton in the cupboard but two!
And one of them StandUp Bee! The outrage! !!!
Looking at his ad, it looks like some disgruntled ex (not me) has hacked his account and rewritten his profile. That or, he IS incredibly screwed up and has the self esteem of a bison.
The second one is BestFriendsEx Bee. With whom I had a one night stand with his friend in his living room (not my finest hour clearly), and then last year (or maybe the year before??) had a fling with another of his mates RedHead Bee.
After some deliberation and then reconsideration I’ve posted the DropKick Bees photos which have been blurred to protect the not so innocent.

This one IS funny

Rape Comic?

Umm. is it wrong I find this kind of funny?

On the band wagon

Right X, well talk at the party about traveling… Z are you coming? Bad Bee needs discussion!
Good work V, I think you’ve done well. Sampled a nice selection… missed out on Irish Bees though!


God, seems like the only thing more pitiful than thinking about your lame sex life is actually accounting it.

Jan; BFNYE05 pash converts himself from pash and dash to pash and see whats happens. Croatian Bee and I have a few dates, he had really hot upper arms. We make out in the car, but after a while there’s no use getting into anymore heavy petting (haha)due to silly little car.
End Jan; StandUp Bee reenters the scene, groveling. Dad is quite sick, I suppose I could blame it all on being a bit vulnerable but I still liked him so we start up on the road to no return.
After a considerable period of me being very suspicious, StandUp Bee and I float about for a while having some pseudo-relationship thing. We have sex, etc but only as dirty weekend or in the car (or park) (AHA! Obviously something’s not right! All signs ignored)
March; pine for gorgeous Queensland Bee, I met at the fiddler and sustain text flirting and we never really manage to have anything (essentially because he has a child and lives in QLD), but he’s sooo pretty.
April; all fairly uneventful, still persisting with StandUp Bee but manage kissing Inappropriate Bee.
August; Ignore amoral kiss merrily, until StandUp Bee lives up to his namesake and stands me up for a date without any notice. For the second time, lying motherfucker.
September; Drought. Not wishing to see, well people really.
October; Continuance of Drought. Now moved onto abject jaded glibness, which is SO attractive.
November; semi interested crush on Peirced/Tattooed Bee, only to peter out. Merry partying with Agents, weeeeee. Fun encounter with Cousin Bees, should have snogged my bee… why not? WHY! Exchanged for lame hand holding and strange intimacy. Pretty dresses and flowers, myth about bridesmaid beating men off with sticks only impeded by lack of single blokes.
December; semi-crush of convenience on Paintball Bee, really not my type. But good arms, again with my down fall the arms.
NYE; drink enough grog to slow an elephant and pash random EminemWigga Bee.

Lady Bees

Lol hilarious. You've had a very full year!! You need to do something about your font size too, it should be set to normal.

And your avatar is cool!!! You need to insert it as a pic in each post though.

I didn't know you had back of the car sex with Phone Bee. He was such a waste of your time *huff*

Dating Wonderland 06

Noticed Agent Z's Dating Wonderland Post and thought it would be fun to share mine! (Bees should ALL, though potentially less of an exciting story with Agent X but oh well)

J: Single but sleeping with ex! OK with it but being pestered by ex who is attempting self destruction and insists on telling me all about it at inappropriate times... woo. Note: And the sex is always bad!
F: Have booked trip OS and looking forward to accented shagging all over the globe, no action(and not missing it!).
M: Same as F.
A: Embark on trip -avidly watching for appropriate menfolk (somewhat amateurishly due to extended relationship with ExBee) and attempt to avoid encounter with TourBee due to lack of interest on my behalf.
M: Decide what the hell, as TourBee is ALWAYS checking me out whenever I turn around and am also getting somewhat aroused by the attention! Encounters involve late night vodka fuelled pashing, waking up in a bed I don't remember getting to with most of my clothes off, vodka fuelled shenanigans indoors and outdoors and discovering at the last instance that if a guy seems to be exceptionally good at pleasuring a girl in non-penetrative ways, then after a while it may be a good bet he needs some nasal spray technology for his...'condition'. Still, guilt was probably the only drawback!
Was snogged by Hot German Bee mid month, annoyed at feeling guilty about TourBee and not enjoying it more! He was HOT dammit!
J: One night stand in extremely nice hotel, though was too drunk to remember most of the night and also was drunkenly aparty to a decision to stay in the one of a gazillion hotels that's aircon was broken. Yeeurch...... stupidly hot! Biggest regret - not being sober enough to remember to best part of the night! Was OK with returning to consciousness to find myself 'having' sex, but bummed when he didn't call me... 2nd regret, being too drunk for any contribution to the act! I have a slight feeling I wasn't the best lover in the world that night! D'oh. He was cute too! (and big nob!)
J: The beginning of The Drought. The Pining begins for DreamBee/BritishBee.
A: Spend hours dancing with/against SmallmouthBee(so named because of his annoyingly small mouth, how can you get into a pash if you feel like you're about to eat their whole face off?) A few pashes ensue. I run away without leaving my number, but then feel cold as it is now 6am and I am in the middle of a tent in a field with no warm body behind me, dang! Feel guilty about not devoting all attentions to DreamBee! (Weird, I know)
S: Awesome Continental holiday, attempt to crank it up with DreamBee, reverse effect is true and Bee turns to my friend instead, who instead of acknowledging months of my pining attempts to shack up with him herself. Bitch!
O: Excellent girls' night out plan to pick up goes to plan in record time, almost feel like I'm over DreamBee, renewed self confidence! Dating He Who Forgot His Phone who has an awesome set of abs in an irritating game playing fashion for a couple of weeks. Slightly awkward sex in the back of his car (luckily spacious), then peters out. Not too bummed as had a suprisingly small wang for someone so hot. Ahh the ways of the world.
N: Partying it up with Agents and SisterBees! Great for self confidence and fun times, no dating! Failed attempt to avoid being kissed by guy I danced with then us all being invited back to their hotel room for the night. They were suprised when we revealed that no, we weren't 'full keen' after all. We weren't! No loving at singles dance 4th Nov despite looking awesome - I think you'll hear me on that one Agents.....
(Meanwhile DreamBee & friend break up.)
D: Return to Wonderland and avoid topic of pining with DreamBee. Return to life as normal until DreamBee's trip away. The week after this I become aware of a subtle change - can it be true? Weirdnesses include actual meaningful looks (not imagined this time, like other occasions), and extra physical contact! (I of course noticed this as I could have almost listed the times physical contact occured previously! Partially due to rarity, and like I said, I was infatuated!) Plus a meeting at the pub that really felt like a date, especially considering that I was invited then bought drinks! Woo! Once home a nonspecific conversation about logistics of potential relationships ensued (much blurriness on my behalf due to consumption of 2 large glasses of wine (that's half a litre kids) and awkward but nice hugs.
End of the week arrives and its 100% obvious so no risk involved in making moves - woo! He had more positions up his sleeve that I've had hot dinners...certainly never expected that! Enter the week of honeymoon - then stupid Christmas and I am alone til New Years. Bring in the new year in style with a new man. Finally things were looking up....

So, that's caught up to now methinks!

Nuff about me, Agent what's going on with ArseholeBee? Good work with your determination to avoid him though, your efforts are admirable! No moral highground here since me & DreamBee is still a big fat secret....!

Travel travel

I'm not quite sure what you're saying there Y, Are you advocating living in sex or not? It's working for us I guess.

Travel! We are interested in travel this year (yeah good work on the notice-23rd of January!)

We're not really sure where we can afford yet either, I'd really love to go to Italy but I haven't consulted Catholic Bee. We were wanting to go to the snow this year too, but that's a separate thing altogether really and not worth mentioning.... hehehe

We can chat at Housewarming about it I guess!

Bad Bee! Oh you Agent you. I'm glad you took sister bee though, to prevent any shenannigans from occuring. I think he's an asshole actually for stringing you along, you know he's only doing it to make himself feel better about his shitty relationship. He knows it doesn't HELP YOU at all calling every few months to torment you.

I propose renaming him Asshole Bee.

That is all.

To Bee or not to Bee

I have a confession.

Bad Bee is Back.

Oh no!

But oh yes.

Don't worry have not shagged him yet. He invited me over for steak dinner so I brought my sister along who is like my chaperone/conscience/contraception. Steak was freaking amazing. Had forgotten how that Bee could cook.

It's like... I always manage to successfully fuck him off... but not quite. It doesn't help that I'm desperately in love with him. No lovin, I'm in the Sahara desert of no lovin, and there he is, my never ending fountain of lovin, but of course a mirage because he's still with his goddamn crack whore of a girlfriend.

That's all, thought I'd share.

Also can't afford to travel this year. Would love to, but am going back to student life. I think I had a good reason why but I can't think of it right now.

Welcome to the future

Well theres my little avatar contribution.
Perhaps you might notice the sneaky (ok not so sneaky if you know what you're looking at) hint.

I think any kind of being together and not having sex is a bit of a drag,
I mean come home, cook dinner, have sex, have dinner, have sex, watch telly, have sex, have a shower go to sleep... surely?
Seems like not eh... well if I can have little more sex than what Im getting now why am I bothering?

I suppose if you're jilling off you know what to expect.

NOW on a serious note,
I'm looking at doing some travel this year. I know it's a bit of short notice. Please express intrest to me on the following if anyone is interested, (Hey V, let me know if you were still into Eygpt)
- Eygpt
- NZ (LOTR tour?)
- UK (possibly off the cards due to expense :-( ) Thankyou for your time.

Agent Confusion

Hahaha I think I have JUST got a handle on who is who LOL. Maybe if we start each of our posts with our pic (Hello if two of you would GET a pic) about this size we could see who is who readily. That aside I always post in the same format (this colour) so maybe you bitches should choose a colour and stick with it.

And Agent (I can't remember) Way to go with Dream Bee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Condoms lol. Grab a girlie mag, some tampons and icecream and you're set for the checkout!

We're having great sex. Sporadically, but good when it happens. There's a bigger sense of disappointment I think though once you've tied the knot when one isn't into it? Hmmmm

Topic; Confusion, subcategory; sex

In my case confusion has manifested itself in 2 ways.

Confusuion of Men.

Is it that we’re projecting our horny little requirements onto men, or are we programmed to think men want sex all the time?
Is it a question of balance or personal preference?
Too much sex too soon, no sex too soon, bad sex too soon, good sex turning to bad sex too soon, bad sex not turning to good sex soon enough.
I know in your situation Agent V, I would be thinking ‘Did we have too much sex, and have fizzled out?’ OR something silly like ‘What if he doesn’t fancy me?’
Hmm, more information required here I think – have you tried to initiate non-weekend sex? Demanded it, whilst ripping his shirt off with one hand and unfastening his belt with the other?

Confusion of Agent.
Call me not very bright, call me slow on the uptake but as it stands our anonymity has left me flicking through a little notepad every time someone posts to work out who is who.
We need a key I think, like a blogging decoder ring – because I thought Agent V from last post was Agent X. ARGH!

PS; who the hell is DreamBee and when did you ‘move in’???

They made me write stuff here

Yes I understand about the irritations of perserverance, sometimes you wish you had those precious minutes of your life back again don't you!

BFPNYE05 - LMAO at the name. The classic 'funny because it's true'......heeeeee chuckle.

And now news of the more bee variety. Must vent - have shacked up with Bee of Dreams who has passed from the first honeymoon style phase (ie.... as much sex as I want) and now into a grey horrid netherworld of many years of marriage (ie.... save it for the weekend...wtf??!) which I take it is as much sex as he wants???? I'm lost.. I thought all guys ever thought about was sex? dammit. Maybe the truth is that that's all WE think about and we have simply projected upon the menfolk?!

Who am I kidding!? Still every now and again there is an anomaly!

Grumble. How to approach. The other problem is that I think I may have scared him off in the first instance with enthusiasm and could potentially be in one of those 'don't touch me because we'll have to have sex then and I don't want to' sort of paradoxes where its all or nothing. And I just ain't a nothing kind of gal. I'm ok if I'm starved - be it food or money or sex. BUT if it's there for the taking, anyone who has had a packet of chips or timtams at same time as being near me will know that if it's there, I want it (and will probably stuff myself too)! You get the idea. Hence my grumbling. Luckily for myself when its on, I have NO complaints. But then. You can starve on gourmet food if you only get a little bit once in a while. I need Quantity as WELL as Quality dammit! Well well well I shouldn't complain but I just want it all. Also it would be handy to not have to sneak about but logistcally it is necessary for the moment.

Apart from my complaints whee for Illicit Beeifaction. Oh yeah and the bastard is going away for the week. I guess that means it back to sleeping with Lefty and Righty for the week.

Last point of the post: Buying condoms IS embarrassing. Can't do anything about it, it just IS. *sigh*

Alleged Sister Bees

Haha, I mean YOUR sister you silly bee, and Agent Z's sister too.
Glad you like the colours :) Other, what say you?

Croatian (why, oh why! do I never use spell check) Non Verbal Bee was sooo last year Darhlinggg. I met him at Bacteria Foam Party NYE 05, obviously this was never going to reap a quality bee but he had really good shoulders… so…
We hooked up, and foolishly attempted to extend the shelf life of our fling. But he didn't speak. I tried, persevered with conversation, and he was well intentioned apparently just not very bright.

Not to mention, I had been projecting anxieties about being stood up from StandMeUp Bee onto him which undoubtedly was going to doom things.

Plus fooling around in his little Nissan Pulsar was logistically unpleasant… so unless he rings me from Melbourne asking for bail from his Racial Affray charges I doubt he’ll be attending Boxing Day this year.