Now firstly let me preface this with the disclaimer, I didn't actually fuck anyone o/s. But fear not, I got some action anyway !
First notable meeting was on our first night out at one of our fave Thai bars, the 5!5 bar, Queensland Bee was quite gentlemanly, we spent all night talking, turned out he was in the same hotel, and when one my travel mates picked up a Thai guy we went round to his bar in Bangla Rd - (now this is about as dodgy as being a pimp in the Cross) we went for a walk, made out on the beautiful beach and came back to the bar to find them absent.
I then freaked out, thinking she was being sold into white slavery and he waited around with me for a while until I got jack of it and went back to the hotel. We said goodnight, he was flying to KL the next day, he took my number and I went back to my room. But my roomie was asleep, ah sweet fate. So I went to his room and knocked, and it was actually a relief because all we did was sleep. He took my number so well see if he calls I guess.
One of the girls down the corridor from us was celebrating her last night, was going to be a quite evening on Bangla rd... then we did JagerBombs (shudder)and we picked up two British boys from Nottingham (I swear most English guys ever lol) and did ALOT of making out at the bar, all very trashy, our travel buddies had said goodnight ages ago and we were both a bit squiffy. I'd said goodnight to Nottingham Bee and he'd given me his email address on a scrap of paper bag. And then we left with the boys, I was a bit confused, we'd said goodnight but then we ended up back in their hotel - in a room they shared... After the hotel staff had rang them three times, then cut their power, then SEARCHED THEIR ROOMS whilst we hid in the shower, we started to making out, he was a fucking great kisser, he went down on me and me on him, he came - but apparently 'brits don't wear johnnys' meaning they didn't have any condoms combined with the notion that a couple were going at it in a bed I could reach out and touch got to be all too much, so she and I left a bit annoyed... but hey I got his email address so I can try again?
We were all so majorly hung over that we did nothing all the next day.
Last but not least was Police Bee... HAHAHA, yes this means he's a police officer, who get this offered to bring his hand cuffs home 'if I wanted' haha yeah hell yeah!! - I don't care if it was an empty promise but REAL police cuffs is hot.We met up with one of my travel buddies mutual acquaintances, all police officers, I was wearing a low cut dress (is there any other kind?) and he was looking at my cleavage all night.
We all ate dinner, went to a GoGo show (think ping pongs and like) and got a little trashed at a bar, then two of us paired up and walked the one with the boyfriend home and went skinny dipping. They had an amazing hotel pool, unfortunately surrounded by rooms but I don't think anyone was watching at three in the morning. I had my period by this time, so refused anything happening but I got him off, he came in my mouth which I surreptitiously spat out in the pool and then we repeated this format mostly the following evening.He seemed nice enough, so I dropped the hint to my mate I'd like to get his number so well see how we go...
You know come to think of it, each time I met a guy I did anything decent with I was wearing that dress. HMM, I might be onto something here. Plus before I went away, at my Vile School Reunion I met Central Coast Bee, who I still have to call upon my return, so my drought is hopefully set to break!
Go Thailand!! Sawasdee!!
I want to be really careful about jinxing myself here.
But.
I think the Drought is officially over.
Although it should be said it was a somewhat self-imposed drought. I took some time out, I evaluated what I did and did not want in a partner, and I dug in my heels and waited. (And waited... and waited...) And even though it was difficult in the extreme I think I learned something, grew as a person, all that bullshit, and now I am more balanced and mature as a result.
NOW LET'S NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN.
Meanwhile, I think I could fall in love with this guy. I think I AM falling in love with this guy.
Like, you know when you have sex with someone for the first time, and it's always that little bit disappointing? And then you freak out that it is indicative of how sex is going to be with that person forever and ever and OH GOD the sex was better with your ex even though they were a GIANT ARSE who smoked, treated you as their personal chauffeur and were just generally a big fat annoying ARSE HEAD all of the time.
Not that the first time with my current lover was bad. But just, you know, a bit awkward in places, both people still fairly guarded with each other, that sort of thing.
But last night I went over there and things just seemed to click into place. (Cuffs... cock... lol). But before any of that happened he gave me a massage! He's recently completed a massage course and he's got the table and everything, and man, it was amazing.
*distracted from typing momentarily by massage induced drooling*
Note: Massage tables are also the ideal height for other activities. Plus they're padded with all sorts of places to tie rope...
He's just so great. *sigh* He makes me all dreamy. All wet dreamy. Lol.
Sorry to be annoying happy people. But it makes a nice change from the bitter, depressed cynical in the extreme Agent Z.
In other news a certain ex of mine turns 30 tomorrow. 30 years of age. Craaaazy.
Why hello everyone!!! I must admit I have been sadly absent from Bees since starting my new job. I don't get nearly enough fart-assing around time anymore!!!! AS such, I haven't checked for ages, and I am sorry.
Go Agent that has recently got nookie!!! Go you, hope he isn't a turd and has called you since. :)
RSVP agent, I fear that path is fraught with danger, and drop kicks. Although we did establish that Vomiting-Groomsman-Bee had an RSVP profile didn't we....can't all be terrible apples then can they?
O/S Bee, I hope you're getting lots of rumpy-pumpy action in nice hotels and fun new places@!!!
Hub-bee and I have been frightfully boring I think, nothing much to report other than wearing my smart balls all night at an event, and Hub-Bee loves bouncing into my hips repeatedly. LOL.
I notice a lot about profile photos, the classic photo is usually some guy who has hacked out his ex missus from the photo leaving behind the telltale shiny-hair-on-shoulder look.
This one is a fucking classic, and I didn't even read the profile past looking at the photo. Lets take a moment;
Point Two: Is that a beret? Frank Spencer wore a beret mate, not cool even with you're geetar in the forefront of the shot. Go and write a poem you want to be emo.
Point Three: I think Carmen Electra is hot, it's a toss up who when she and Dave Navarro were married as to who I'd rather be, but is a profile photo a proper medium for expressing this? I think not.
Not to mention I hate this holding camera in bedroom look, and I can't get over the fact he looks twelve.
This is the kind of thing which has stopped me from actually sourcing any kind of decent candidate (what is this recruitment?) because photo aside he's almost ignore my 'ideal guy' thingy, he lives in the city and I said I wanted someone in the west, he's 19 and I said 22 to 29 (not a huge age gap but hey I'm not dating a 30yr old!)...
With some luck I will discover the descendant of a Norse God wandering the sands of Thailand... sigh, or not, whatever.
I shagged someone this week. And they weren't female, dead, an ex, or currently in a relationship. And it was awesome.
This is a miracle!! That is the only explanation for this. I'm just about to ring the Pope so I can officially lodge my miracle and have the person who facilitated this made into a Saint.
Who is this mystery Bee??
I met him at a dinner last week. It was a dinner in Newtown for people of shared interests (happens every month - I'm on a mailing list for people under 30 with said interests) and I got his number then. He's tall, thin, blond, blue eyes, 27 years old. Anyway there was little text action over the week and I started to lose hope. Then all of a sudden, after a flitatious text conversation on Wed night, we decided to meet after work on Thurs and go shopping on Oxford st. For, er, clothes. Then we went back to his house in Stanmore for, er, dinner.
Anyway, it was kinda magic.
We went to Hellfire on Friday night as originally planned (with the under 30's group that we've made friends with) but it was kinda... not as fun as being alone with him. Fun, but yeah. Anyway we went back to his house where I stayed the night.
Got home this morning. It's all so surreal.
Anyway I don't know if it's going to go anywhere. I'm now in that paranoid 'oh God what if he never calls again' frame of mind. But, I think it's safe to say I'll see him again.
And if not - well I'm still happy. Cos man, I really needed that :p
Bees out.
I am in over my head.
I've now been an RSVP member for a week, if it were AA I'd get my seven day chip.
I've had 138 kisses, emails and chat requests. I am not that interesting surely, I can't be!
I can't be sure whos true potential because I've got so many fucking things to reply to. I've even limited my inbox to only recieved ten a day.
Its like defcom five, I've gotta get in all my replies before the enemy attacks with another round.
Haha something funny did happen, I gave a Bee my email address and he sent an email saying 'my name nice girl' hahaha,I thought... well thats weird. Then sent another email explaining he was going to email me from work.
Apprently Im a nice girl.
Well Agent Z I don't think it's too much to ask to see if your Bee is still in the land of the living. But of course having said that, if he doesn't have the consideration to reply fuck him.
Fuck em all.
(Not this picture. Nothing wrong with a scantily-clad cat girl.)
I think I've reached the bottom. Today I found myself trawling through the obituaries section of smh.com to try and determine whether a love interest of mine had died. When you find yourself doing this, perhaps it is time to stop and evaluate. One can't help but be reminded of that line from that song:
"Don't be no fool when
Love really don't love you."
This is D-Bee. (Myspace guy, the one with the drug history, the one who caused all that shit with my aunt and her somewhat doubtful choice in father of her child. If anyone is confused, don't worry. I think I'm mostly writing this to myself).
After everything happened with my aunt and uncle, D-Bee sent me an email apologising profusely and saying that he hoped I could forgive him. He said not to worry, he wouldn't be going anywhere. This meant everything to me - to know that even though things were shitty I could at least I could rely on D-Bee to talk to.
This was over two weeks ago.
Since then he hasn't been online at all and hasn't responded to my email that bluntly asked him to let me know "yes" or "no" if we were talking anymore.
I don't have his phone number. I don't know where he lives. I don't know his last name. And yet I spoke with this person about every third night for hours (online) since the beginning of the year. We told each other some big, personal things. I felt, in some strange disconnected way, that I knew him, or at least I knew I wanted to know him. The night that the crap happened with my uncle D-Bee was talking about the possibility of meeting - which was huge for him considering the drug past (and associated complications), etc.
And now he has disappeared off the face of the planet and there's nothing I can do but look through the obituaries. And this is, like, EVERY obituary as I don't have his last name.
Is it too much to ask for my prospective dates to be mentally sound, not addicted to something, in possession of a driver's lisence and ALIVE???
Fucking hell.
p.s. Agent Y please let us know how RSVP goes. (Hopefully well!) I've heard it can work but due to my freak-magnetism I've given up on the internet.
I'll let you know if D-Bee ever turns up again. Preferably not in a body bag.
Well I joined RSVP.
Through lack of other alternatives I joined spur of the moment Monday evening, and had intended to blog about it but had to respond to the dozen kisses, two emails and three instant chat requests I had.
Today is Thursday and I've had 76 fucking emails, kisses and chat requests. SINCE TUESDAY.
Sounds like a nice idea in theory, but I'm having to be really ruthless about who I reply to with positive answers.
Anyone who is over the age limit, 28/29 and out of my area (west, I don't drive after all) unless they are cute or have good profile get an almost automatic reply of 'you don't meet my perfect match criteria' or something almost nasty.
I've had to do this out of necessity now, because otherwise they get hopeful and then there are more emails and kisses involved.
I can't see two guys at once much less talk to 70 of them. Christ.
And then the real flip out was, encountering not only the DropKick Bees I've already blogged about, but a Bee I went to school with!! Hahaha funny old world.
Will keep posted with progress...
"Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And
departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time.
Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and
shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.
Let us, then, be up
and doing.
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still
pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait."
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Granted it’s a bit wordy, but I get what Wadsworth is saying, I think he might be onto something here, and I think that the same can be applied to my drought situation.
No longer am I scornful (ok maybe a little) of those giving or receiving sexual gratification, it gives me hope that one day I too, a forlorn shipwrecked sister can take heart and will have sex again!
But then we get to the problematic final stanza, the one where I have to do something in order to achieve a result… oh man. Cheer up, Agent Y, nothing comes from nothing.
I'm sadly lacking in the respect that I am going out and meeting new people, I can't have sex with any of the old ones, don't have any current ones - boy I am in a quandary, a boy quandary.
HAHA oh that was witty.
I also find, I have gone through stages, like one goes through grief, from abject annoyance to complete indifference.I now find that living in my parents home, and not having sex (or even the odd pash and dash) I have reversed into some kind of childlike stasis. The only difference between now and childhood, is a meager paycheck. It seems Peter Pan had it right?
Want one?
These shoes were on sale for $25! From a normal old shoe shop near my work. How awesome are they!
Just wanted to show off.
Ooh we had hot balcony lovin last night, finally!
I think the title pretty much sums it up.
After all my complaining, I finally got laid. I didn't think it would be with a chick but hey. It was quality!
My weekend of course started with Hellfire. I thought it would be difficult to get my tits for all the world to see (for benefit of Agent V - I went with these black and red felt stars glued over my nipples. Can send pics if people are curious. I considered it a good look. Tasteful, y'know.) but no. I nearly left the house without my coat!!
Our night included podium dancing with leather-clad men, general dancing (more fun with boobs out I tell you), me getting tied to a frame and whipped but guy wearing leather skirt that featured his bum hanging out of (bum hanging guy was total freak but good whipper) and me falling instantly in love with this beautiful guy with long black hair and a real flair with a crop. I managed to catch his eye and we smiled (I believe we shared a 'moment') but unfortunately he was with a bunch of people who left fairly early. He also appeared to be with some chick (very hot and amazing boobs dammit) so bah. Anyway, I got out of my shell and met new people and was merry and such, it was great. And great cos I trust my Girlfriend Bee and she looks after me in these situations - makes sure no one takes advantage of me (in a bad way). Will have to get my boobs out more often methinks!
We were too tired for lovin that night but the following afternoon we had some time to kill so Girlfriend Bee hogtied me. Which led to her touching me up. Which led to her going down on me and me coming my brains out. (Yes, I have gone for the classier spelling there. We are, after all, classy ladies). Then she rolled me over and sat on my face. Also fun ;)
Then, birthday celebrations. Sorry could not talk about this at said birthday celebrations but was a bit difficult to gloat considering Girlfriend Bee was there. ("Heeeeey! Guess who scored!!") Had piles of fun dancing like maniac and talking to Long Hair Bee #2. Who is this guy and why have I not been informed there is a pretty/weird-in-a-kinda-endearing-way guy wandering around with lovely long hair? Hmm??
Went home, again too tired for naughtiness. But next day had awesome giant breakfast at Westfield (the scenic tour of Sydney) and then checked out the local sex shop I had always been curious about. Girlfriend Bee bought two (count them) strap-ons. And can you believe I was still so naive at this point I didn't think she'd be using them on me??
Flatmate Bee goes out for the day. Girlfriend Bee and I again have time to kill. So she ties me up again but this time does me from behind with a strap on. (And her 'cock' was on the larger side! I am still sore!!) We also tried missionary, which was also very, very hot. Then she put it on me so she could ride me (me on my back). I can appreciate now how awesome a position that is for a guy - just lie back and enjoy the sex - no wonder so many of my lazy ex-boyfriends kept insisting on that one.
This went on for a couple of hours.
I drove her to the airport that night and we kissed goodbye - right there at the car drop off point in front of everyone. People stared. It was funny.
So, in conclusion, for someone who defines herself as 'straight' I appear to have had sex with women more times now than is purely accidental or experimental. I guess I'd say I'm about 20% bi. But ultimately still like boys, don't know why but they spin my wheels even though they're mostly all crap. Especially if they have long hair...
Incidentally, for anyone who has been following my Myspace Bee saga - I now have a satisfactory answer as to why we can't meet. We spoke online last night and basically it comes down to a long dark drug past which he is still getting over and doesn't want to expose me to. Which is very considerate of him. (Men - I sure know how to pick 'em, eh?) It's a real shame cos I really like him. But perhaps am only intrigued by the mystery of it all. That and he is a millionaire who owns four cars including a Porche. (!!!)
Anyway, I'm happy. And shagged. And a lesbian, aparently. Thought I'd share :)
*fanning self* I implore you to read this blog Dirtyspoke.
Space is big, really big and like other large empty spaces it collects a bit of rubbish, space junk from various Apollo missions and land fill jettisoned into space.
Like outer space, cyber space is infinitely huge. You can do everything online, buy clothes, shoes, the Hollywood sign, food, talk to people from the other side of the world and date people without bellowing over pub music. But it’s also when I discovered the cyber space dating junk!
Deciding to consider a sortie into internet dating wasn’t that hard, without having to join up I could go window shopping for potentials all while sitting in my pj’s!
Then I saw them. Not one skeleton in the cupboard but two!
And one of them StandUp Bee! The outrage! !!!
Looking at his ad, it looks like some disgruntled ex (not me) has hacked his account and rewritten his profile. That or, he IS incredibly screwed up and has the self esteem of a bison.
The second one is BestFriendsEx Bee. With whom I had a one night stand with his friend in his living room (not my finest hour clearly), and then last year (or maybe the year before??) had a fling with another of his mates RedHead Bee.
After some deliberation and then reconsideration I’ve posted the DropKick Bees photos which have been blurred to protect the not so innocent.
