Long Time No Bees

Hi guys!

Wow I've missed so much bee action! You have been buzzing like crazy here. I couldn't even check Bees while I was away cos I was using PVC's laptop and didn't want to leave anything incriminating in the internet history.

Agent Y: Very sorry to hear about the cockhead. And also sorry to hear about the freaky coincidence with sushi sister of China Bee. Freaky! Thought I was the only one who had unbearably awkward coincidental experiences!

Agent X: Speaking of coincidences - OMG! Bungalo 8 Bee!!! Wow, how bizarre! And I love the line about standing in the corner but looking hot. Go you lol.

Agent V: Ahahaha crack wax. Awesome. I've never been brave enought to get my vagina (lol) professionally waxed. I mean, I have a genital piercing, but even that was easier than getting it all off for a waxer. Not sure why, but that terrifies me. I just shave it. Piece of trivia: PVC shaves himself too. I watched him do it the other day - fascinating! He has to stretch his bits out to access it properly. Kind of hilarious.

As you know, I've been living it up in NYC, and I've had a blast. Lots of sexy sex, omg so much. One day we had sex in the morning, and then when we got back we had sex three more times.

Also had awesome adventures in all the sex shops over there. PVC and I bought matching rubber underpants, so we can be stylish next time we take our clothes off at a fetish event. And I got a new (purple) corset, for the bargain price of US $50!! PVC took some lovely photos of me in it (and the underpants)... it even gives me cleavage! Cleavage, people!!

Also, I think I might be working at the sex shop in Newtown after all. They ditched me initially because they hired someone who could start sooner, but that girl is now talking about moving to Byron Bay. So I start in January! Yaaay!!!

See you all soon, except Agent V - bummer we didn't quite make it with the meet up! But hopefully see you again not too distant future.

Bees out.

Crack Wax

Hi all,

Has anyone had a brazilian? I have not, but I feel a little like I may as well have. Really, all I am short of one is a couple of labia and a teepee at the top.

Just had a 'bikini' wax from an no-nonsense big momma named Keisha. (Lovely, but also a bit scary)

She was almost shocked when I was slightly confused - "What, remove my undies too? Everything? I..I just want the bikini..." then she just went with the 'mnnmm-hmmm' approach and off they went.

Legs went flying, initially I was going for a timid trim, apparently this isn't the go. Typically, it would be 'hold your leg there'...'no, there' (I put leg up off to my right a bit, and up a bit, she re-positions so my leg is up near my shoulder somewhere, somewhere at the extreme of my flexibility) Repeat.

As I was there in the chair with my both ankles held above my head and stretching my tummy up for all I was worth, I couldn't help but feel the situation was a little weird, but I didn't wail when next she put hot wax on my intimates and then ripped the hair out, either. Go me! At least she was nice and quick about it.
As I was give leave to get dressed again she patted me on tha arm and said that it's the best way, only doing the outlines leaves 'all that' down there and that's just not nice. he he. I kind of agree with, but still. Aii!

I think the exposure factor here was actually worse than having your vagina examined for whatever reason - last sexual health clinic I went to they were like 'oh, this guys new, do you mind if he does your tests and I supervise' so there's 3 people peering up your clacker. At least they give you a piece of paper towel to put down when they wander off so you can pretend you've got a skirt on or something. Here I was nude from the waist with legs akimbo and NAKED VAGINA pointed at the door.(closed) {OK, probable excessive use of word vagina there, but it gets addictive.}

Ah the indignity of it all! Beats trying to wax yourself though. (Highly unrecommended)

PS. ...Vagina

*GRUFF*

** WARNING! MAJOR RANT, ADULT THEMES AND OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE AHEAD**

It's times like this you need minties, or perspective or some shit... please send all minties c/o IATEYOURBEES.

Prologue;
Apprently I've missed informing you of a new Bee in the picture, it didn't really warrant earlier mentioning but had a brief conversation with Canadian Bee-eater and we decided that during singledom one takes the oppertunity.

Chapter one; The Party
A few weeks before I went off to Melbourne I went up the Central Coast for my friends partners 30th. During which time I met Brother In Law Bee. Brother in Law Bee is brother to my mates partner. Right got it.
He was alright looking... good arms... good smell. Someone at the party got wind I fancied him and then we were prompted into a walk and conversation, during which time myself (who was TOTALLY SQUIFFY) and Brother in Law Bee pashed, had a grope and went back home, drank more with the boys - INSERT ME BEING CAN ON GIRL - and then passed out.
The following day involved very little, except sleeping and cuddling on bed.

Chapter two; The follow up
We didn't exchange numbers after the party, I knew he lived in the central coast - remember we've been here before? - so it was all a bit silly, but nice to giggle with my girlfriend about being sister in laws *chuckle*
So BILB (haha BILB is good) askes my mate for my number, and a swarth of text messages and phone calls which Telstra obviously by now recognises as me having a bit of crumpet again.
So pre Melbourne I trek up early to Central Coast to loaf about up there, see BILB and start holiday wind down.
My temporary tag of BLIBS MRS (haha morons) I got an invite to a house warming party after which I told BILB we couldn't ever have anything that friendly cuddles because I did not want things to be weird when I visited incase something went weird... sure I understand is the reply.

Chapter Three; the fuck up.
Mate rings me and askes, 'Did you sleep with BILB?' -- NO I did not, well apprently BILB has told some thing named Ryan we had.
Its now times like there where I start batting for the all men are lying bastards, it's encoded in the Y strain of DNA and they should be jettisoned into space.
Just after I've been so good and optimistic!

THIS REALLY PISSES ME OFF! Because I don't want to get all whingy to my friend because this is what I wanted to avoid in the fucking first place!
And I can't give him attitude like I want to because I want to seem all better than him and not petty but I want to suffocate him truth be told!
So now if I see him Im going to take the disappointed and wronged woman act, tell anyone who asks if we slept together to fuck off and mind thier own businss and remember not to shit where you go for long weekends either.

What are the f**in chances......pretty bloody good actually

Let's take a journey together, you and I.

A little over three years ago, I met my Hub-bee at a wedding. We hit it off, but he was keen not to commit as he was going around Australia for six weeks. I wasn't neccessarily all that keen to commit either, I was "having a blast" as it were.
So we kicked around together for four weeks or so, he took me all sorts of places out with his friends and such like. We went to Manly, we went to house parties, and we went to Randwick for Melbourne Cup day.

We had a great day mostly, I'd never been to the races before, and what better way to be introduced than Melbourne Cup!
As you do, we got wasted, or fairly drunk I should say, and kicked on afterward in the city. One of the guys Hub-bee works with was with us (it was mostly his Uni friends in the group) and he said he knew someone at Bungalow 8 that could get us in and possibly even had a corporate card for drinks!!
So we head over there, it was maybe 8pm and I was a *leetle* drunk. Hehehe
So there was quite a large group of them, and we got introduced around, as you do. I did some dancing, and met some people. When it came time to leave, I'd actually had such a good time, I had given my number to two guys, being the little hussy I was at the time, including one of which who worked with one of our group.

So Hub-bee goes away, and I go to visit Agent billylou when she was still working in Parramatta. I was feeling a little amorous shall we say, and when one of the aforementioned gents calls me, and offers to come all the way to Parramatta I took him up on the offer. Needless to say, there was some action, and I will point out THAT IT WAS PATHETIC, and a waste of my time.

So after this incident, I vowed to not bother with him again and started ignoring his calls and his texts.
Hub-bee came back from his trip, and the very night he came home we agreed to be exclusive and as they say, the rest is history.

Almost.

So this random (annoyingly with the same first name as Hub-bee) he started booty calling me at like 2am in the morning when he was out. I would wake up and throw the phone across the room. Or I would wake in the morning and there would be numerous missed calls.

After months of ignoring him, at this stage Hub-bee knew about it, (I'd come clean about the whole incident) and we were together one night and he called, waking the two of us. We turned my phone off, but Hub-bee was so annoyed it had gotten to this ridiculous stage, that he rang the number back {you know how you keep the Contact in your phone so you don't get caught out by not ignoring the call?} and without saying who he was, told the guy not to bother ringing the number anymore {of course he denied the whole thing, pretending he'd never called at 2am}.
We never heard from again.

FAST FORWARD

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Hub-bee's Christmas party this weekend just passed.
THERE IS THE GUY in the pub at the pre-drinks. Co-incidentally, the same pub as 3 years ago.

Turns out, he works for the same company as Hub-bee! Always did. Not just an acquaintance of Hub-bee's friend, but works for the same company. We spent all night seeing him in the party, and I'm almost certain he must have known who we were.
SO AWKWARD! Hub-bee had to chat to him! I was dying of shame in the corner (looking hot).

Tell me, bad or what!